Today is the day.

"This day is a precious gift of God."

"choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
Joshua 24

I really like that scripture! This scripture wasn't always my way of life. I wasn't a terrible person. But I wasn't my best self. Spurts of in activity and lazy in my beliefs was the way I lived. I didn't realize the blessings I had in my life, and I didn't realize how blessed I was to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. My testimony was a little rocky, I didn't quite understand the motives behind my actions, I more or less just went through the motions.

When I was 19 the idea of serving a mission popped in my head. I was dead set on NOT GOING. After all, I would be sending my then high school sweetheart on a mission and I only had to wait two  years for him. Going on a mission DID NOT FIT MY PLANS. Surely enough He left on a mission and I slowly started drifting from going to church.

I moved to New Jersey where church wasn't exactly convenient to attend. I lived 30 minutes away, I was borrowing a car from my boss and didn't always have a car. Before I knew it, it became "easier" to sleep in than to wake up and go.

While I lived in New York I was able to go to the Hill Cumorah pageant and to walk through the grove of trees where we believe God the Father and Jesus Christ came back for man kind and called the 14 year old boy Joseph Smith to be a prophet. The group I was there with was blessed enough to hear from the mission president at the time Jack R Christianson. I had prayed before we went into the grove, this was my deciding moment.. Either this story of Joseph Smith was true, or it was not. As I walked through the grove I was over come by this sense of warmth, and peace, I could feel in my heart it was true, however I was not yet ready to act on what I felt. Then we heard from President Christianson. As he spoke to us his words touched my heart. In my heart I felt I needed to make some big changes and prepare myself to go on a mission. I wasn't even 20 yet! I would have a whole other year before then. In between that time the man I was waiting for would have returned and again it just didn't fit my plan.

I moved back home to Utah and continued in my pattern of not attending church and doing my thing. School and work, that was my life. I didn't have time between two jobs and school to do much else.

Slowly the time for my 21 birthday was creeping up on me. The thoughts of serving a mission began to weigh heavy on my heart and mind. Not feeling like I was good enough I kept pushing away the thoughts. Finally I approached my Bishop and told him what I wanted to do. HE WAS THRILLED. He invited me to go to the temple and to read in my book of mormon to find if this was what I truly needed to do.

I then went to the temple and I opened a book of mormon and began to read. and as I read I found this verse. One of the very first verses I read

"9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy."

I knew this was what the Lord was calling me to do. I was a few months into hair school, I had an awesome job as a receptionist at a salon, my car was getting closer to being paid off I had everything going for me, I was looking to rent a cute little house for only being 20 almost 21 years old I had established a good comfortable life. I wasn't ready to leave this comfortable life of mine.

Finally I was in. I knew that I needed to go. I started my papers, I was active in church again and I WAS SO HAPPY! SO HAPPY.

After finally submitting my paper work I waited and waited and WAITED for the call. I thought I would for sure go to Peru, or Guatemala. Finally the call letter came, as I tore it open the first words I saw were the words "HILL CUMORAH VISITOR CENTER" I was SOOOO MAD. SO mad. I did NOT want to go to a visitor center. I cried. I was furious. I hated talking to large groups of people.. I hated crowds.. I was determined they called me to the wrong place. I thought to myself.. This isn't going to be a real mission... I am going to be like a caged tiger all day. Waiting for people to come. The quick two months waiting for my call date FLEW by, I wasn't in as much denial.. I arrived to the Mtc and walked into my class to be trained when the teacher walks up to me and just starts rattling off in spanish.. Not only was I called to a visitor center.. but they wanted me to learn spanish!? How am I supposed to do that!? For 6 weeks my world was flipped into another relm. Spanish, and hours upon hours of studies.. I had never really even read a book cover to cover in my life!

My first 9 or 10 weeks I was still determined I was in the wrong place. I couldn't take a tour, my testimony of the Restoration was still rocky, and here I am serving WHERE THE CHURCH WAS RESTORED!?

It didn't take long after taking tours and learning to love people with in the first 10 seconds of knowing them to realize THIS WAS MY CALL. I AM EXACTLY where God needs me to be.

God calls us in our weaknesses, he uses those weaknesses to touch others with similar struggles. He teaches us to trust in him as we feel we are inadequate to perform his labors. I knew nothing about the church in its beginnings. I didn't know who EB Grandin was..(the owner of the book store the book of mormon was first sold at)  I hardly even knew who Martin Harris was... (first scribe to help with the translation proccess of the book of mormon) I didn't know a thing. I still don't know a lot. However, I know enough, I know that it is Gods work, I know that this is Christ church, and that through the book of mormon I have found my Savior and the peace I need in life.

We don't always understand why heavenly father has called us to serve, or why we are where we are.  But we can understand that He knows us, he knows how that calling will be for our benefit.

I don't know why I am so blessed to serve here in such a sacred place, to stand on such holy ground and testify of the events that took place here. I will never in my human mind be able to comprehend the significance of these places in history, or to appreciate the sacrifices made by the early members of the church. But I will always cherish my home here in New York.

This is the land where I have gained a testimony of the power of forgiveness, this is where my heart has been healed, and the savior has forgiven me of my mistakes, he has helped me to understand it's okay to have weaknesses and not be the perfect missionary, as long as I am trying to be better. This land of western New York will forever hold my heart, as I have felt the love of God for his children when I sit in a strangers home and talk of Christs life, to watch the atonement mend and change them... I am blown away and engulfed with such great JOY!

"Serving Him invites the Holy Ghost to be with us. And the Holy Ghost is a cleanser of sin."Henry B. Eyring

Nothing heals the wounded heart like giving your time and heart to the Lord. 

"Those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit are willing to do anything and everything that God asks of them, without resistance or resentment. We cease doing things our way and learn to do them God’s way instead."

I am so thankful he has trusted me with his work and that I am serving him. For anyone who is reading this and planning on serving a mission DO IT DO IT DO IT. It doesn't matter how much or how little you know, all you need is the desire to go. The rest will come. The tesimony will be strengthened over time.

 

"These are days to never be forgotten"

"When you are in the service of your fellow beings you are in the service of your God."

 

It doesn't matter where you have been, the Lord takes us in our weaknesses and wraps us in his loving arms and changes us. He takes us as we sin and as we repent he cleanses us. You are enough to serve God in anyway. It doesn't have to be in the service of a full time mission. We can serve God by serving others. By helping those who are broken find peace.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live, love and deliver peace. I know that they love us, no matter where we have been, they look at us as where we can go and who we can become. The gospel of Jesus Christ is about becoming. Becoming better. ITS TRUE! ITS ALL TRUE!!!!! :)