Keeping HOPE.

Life is a time to gain experience. Some of us gain experience through success, others through sorrow. All of us at some point or another have or will pass through a time of grief. A time we feel utterly alone. A time we wonder if we can push through and continue on. We all have our hour of darkness. An hour that feels as though we wish we were no more. 

There is a lesson I have learned from a book of mormon missionary, Ammon, in his very hour of alone-ness, when he is about to give up, and throw in the towel he is reminded, and comforted through the lord to not turn back. To not give up his hope.

"Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success." Alma 26:27

(For those unfamiliar with the book of Mormon, the Lammanites are terrible to the Nephites, They are set on the destruction of the Nephites.)

We all have our Lammanites in life, moments bent on our destruction where it feels as though the world is pulling on our shoulders, when we can hear the whisperings of temptation "Give up, just turn back.. you will never be good enough" "Why do you look ahead with hope? You have done all of these things wrong" "You are not a real missionary, you're sick all the time..." "Those people don't care what you have to say.. why would you even try?" "Just give up already, quit trying. you are to weak" 

The Savior has promised in John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." He later says...
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

He has promised us that we would be comforted in hour very hour of need. Go back to you fears, your trials, your temptations and face them with Jesus Christ. No power of evil is strong enough to over come you when you have Christ at your side. He over came the world, he over came the temptations and weaknesses, he never gave up so that he could help you when you want to cry "mercy" and wave the white flag of truce. 

Christ can not, and he will not leave if we do whatsoever thing he asks. If we are pushing our hardest on a diligent path of obedience, if we are doing our part to over come and to achieve, he is bound. He can not leave. he will not leave. 

Be patient and trust, in his own time he will come and he will build you up and strengthen you. He will assist you and deliver you. Fight the battle with courage and be not afraid. Satan will laugh mock and scorn, he will try to shake you a move you. Be not moved, stand firm in Christ, he is cheering you on and is thankful that even though you feel as though you have failed him you have not given up the fight. Stand firm in Christ and he will give unto you success. You will make it through. 

"Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece" 

 

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Keep the faith. Keep the hope and you will be given the successs you wish. Keep righteous, keep loving, and keep moving forward in Christ :)

HE IS NOT HERE, HE IS RISEN.

This is a little late I know. However, my favorite time of year is Easter, to reflect on the Saviors life and to praise the risen Lord, to reflect on his sacrifice, his love and his mercy. As I watched this bible video below and many others depicting the Saviors ministry I became very emotional.

Today I am not feeling well. I have been sooo sick...  I found out recently that I will be needing surgery, which at first was really hard to hear. Today I was in a shrinking mode, turning slightly inward. Thinking to my self "Lord all I wish to do is to serve you.. and here I sit.. throwing up and just wanting to lay here in a ball... Why can't I be well? Why cant you just heal me?" Then I watched this video.

 

 As I watched his video I reflected on the Saviors life as told in the new testament.

 

I sat in deep thought and feeling. I pictured the Savior on the day that they chose to release Barabbas over the Son of God. A perfect man who meant them no harm. I imagined the Savior on this day, how alone he felt... How is heart must have felt, the pain and the anguish in knowing those whom were meant to be his true friends, followers and supporters had left him. What he felt as he bled great drops of blood from every pore, as he suffered for my sins, my infirmities, my trials, and my weaknesses. As he gave his heart to the Father...

 

 "42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.

 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Luke 22

 

I tried to imagine what he felt in these last hours of his life. As they nailed him to the cross I wonder if tears streamed from his eyes, as he was paying the price for the sins of those men, men that he created this world as a place for them to live, those men who left him there to die.

 

I tried to imagine what it was like for his mother to stand by helplessly as he completed his atonement.

 

I tried to feel what they felt after three days of anguish in knowing that Jesus Christ, their brother and friend was gone.

 

Then I tried to feel what it was like to see his face, his beautiful, glorious resurrected face... to feel his hands and his feet... To be in his presence. I thought to myself, what can I learn from this today that might help strengthen some one else?

 

Today I learned that my will does not matter if it is not in line with God's will.

 

 My fear all along with being sick on my mission has been that they would send me home early. with just a little over 3 months left and the need to have surgery, my fears were haunting me every moment of every day. Nightmares of going home before August were creeping into my sleep and I was running from the thought. My fear is to let down or disappoint God by going home before my scheduled time. My fear is that I am not giving him enough, not trying hard enough, not pushing through like I should, that I am just a big huge disappointment to him.

 

As I was watching this wonderful video I was calmed when I realized it is not my will, but Gods will that I need to follow. It's not a matter of staying or going, but how am I taking this trial on that will please the Lord. Am I keeping my smile? Am I doing my best to remain positive? Am I turning to him for solace, and strength? This is what matters. Am I enduring it well? Or am I throwing a tantrum? If his will is for me to leave ahead of my scheduled exit date, I can and I will accept.

 

I can find peace in him

 

I am not alone in this, just as the angel came to strengthen Christ as he prayed more earnestly with all of his might, he was assisted in his hour of need. As we pray, and pray and pray some more, God will send encouragement through the Holy Ghost. We are never alone in times of need. Christ literally felt what you are feeling.

 

Because Christ lives, in a glorified, perfect body, we too will live in a perfectly glorified body.

 

To my friends who have had to leave a mission early for whatever the reason may be, you did not let the Lord down. You have not given up the fight, you have simply been transferred to a new battlefield. We only let the Lord down when we fail to endure, when we fail to keep hope, when we forget what we are fighting for, when we become bitter and let go of our beliefs, when we beat ourselves up and cut ourselves down. That is when we begin to disappoint our father.

 

As the Lord has risen we too will rise, no more pain, sorrow, or sickness.

 

To my friends who are in constant pain, whether it be heart, body, or mind... Please don't give up. Don't let go of the fight. Be faithful and trust that because of Christs sacrifice he will heal you, you will be made whole. Whether it is now, later, or in the life to come. He will heal you.

 

 "yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him." Helaman 12:1

 

He over came all of your weaknesses, addictions, heart aches, illnesses, and struggles. As he gave his life he paid a debt we could not pay on our own. He gave his heart to God because he loves us. He wants us to return to live with him after this life. He wants us home. Unfortunately Fortunately enough the journey home is almost always rough. We are given trials to stretch, to grow, to progress and to become as he is. To become humble, submissive, and willing to follow as he calls after you.

 

''Lord, I would follow thee" I am doing my best to give what it takes to be a true disciple of my Savior, to follow his call, no matter where it might lead, and when it may come. To be ready to submit my will and take upon myself his will. With out murmuring, crying, and throwing my hands up in the air.

 

I am so thankful for the Savior Jesus Christ, that he was willing to stand alone, to be betrayed, mocked, spit on, cast off as a thing of naught. All to be able to aid us, to lift us, and to make us whole. Because he suffered alone, we don't have to. Even when it seems as though there is nothing left for you, you have everything because the Savior will stay at your side for as long as you invite him to be there. He will not leave you comfortless. He will run to you.

 

He lives, I know he lives. He loves you. He weeps when you weep. He laughs when you laugh. He morns when you morn. He comforts you when you stand in need of comfort.

 

 

Today is the day.

"This day is a precious gift of God."

"choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
Joshua 24

I really like that scripture! This scripture wasn't always my way of life. I wasn't a terrible person. But I wasn't my best self. Spurts of in activity and lazy in my beliefs was the way I lived. I didn't realize the blessings I had in my life, and I didn't realize how blessed I was to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. My testimony was a little rocky, I didn't quite understand the motives behind my actions, I more or less just went through the motions.

When I was 19 the idea of serving a mission popped in my head. I was dead set on NOT GOING. After all, I would be sending my then high school sweetheart on a mission and I only had to wait two  years for him. Going on a mission DID NOT FIT MY PLANS. Surely enough He left on a mission and I slowly started drifting from going to church.

I moved to New Jersey where church wasn't exactly convenient to attend. I lived 30 minutes away, I was borrowing a car from my boss and didn't always have a car. Before I knew it, it became "easier" to sleep in than to wake up and go.

While I lived in New York I was able to go to the Hill Cumorah pageant and to walk through the grove of trees where we believe God the Father and Jesus Christ came back for man kind and called the 14 year old boy Joseph Smith to be a prophet. The group I was there with was blessed enough to hear from the mission president at the time Jack R Christianson. I had prayed before we went into the grove, this was my deciding moment.. Either this story of Joseph Smith was true, or it was not. As I walked through the grove I was over come by this sense of warmth, and peace, I could feel in my heart it was true, however I was not yet ready to act on what I felt. Then we heard from President Christianson. As he spoke to us his words touched my heart. In my heart I felt I needed to make some big changes and prepare myself to go on a mission. I wasn't even 20 yet! I would have a whole other year before then. In between that time the man I was waiting for would have returned and again it just didn't fit my plan.

I moved back home to Utah and continued in my pattern of not attending church and doing my thing. School and work, that was my life. I didn't have time between two jobs and school to do much else.

Slowly the time for my 21 birthday was creeping up on me. The thoughts of serving a mission began to weigh heavy on my heart and mind. Not feeling like I was good enough I kept pushing away the thoughts. Finally I approached my Bishop and told him what I wanted to do. HE WAS THRILLED. He invited me to go to the temple and to read in my book of mormon to find if this was what I truly needed to do.

I then went to the temple and I opened a book of mormon and began to read. and as I read I found this verse. One of the very first verses I read

"9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy."

I knew this was what the Lord was calling me to do. I was a few months into hair school, I had an awesome job as a receptionist at a salon, my car was getting closer to being paid off I had everything going for me, I was looking to rent a cute little house for only being 20 almost 21 years old I had established a good comfortable life. I wasn't ready to leave this comfortable life of mine.

Finally I was in. I knew that I needed to go. I started my papers, I was active in church again and I WAS SO HAPPY! SO HAPPY.

After finally submitting my paper work I waited and waited and WAITED for the call. I thought I would for sure go to Peru, or Guatemala. Finally the call letter came, as I tore it open the first words I saw were the words "HILL CUMORAH VISITOR CENTER" I was SOOOO MAD. SO mad. I did NOT want to go to a visitor center. I cried. I was furious. I hated talking to large groups of people.. I hated crowds.. I was determined they called me to the wrong place. I thought to myself.. This isn't going to be a real mission... I am going to be like a caged tiger all day. Waiting for people to come. The quick two months waiting for my call date FLEW by, I wasn't in as much denial.. I arrived to the Mtc and walked into my class to be trained when the teacher walks up to me and just starts rattling off in spanish.. Not only was I called to a visitor center.. but they wanted me to learn spanish!? How am I supposed to do that!? For 6 weeks my world was flipped into another relm. Spanish, and hours upon hours of studies.. I had never really even read a book cover to cover in my life!

My first 9 or 10 weeks I was still determined I was in the wrong place. I couldn't take a tour, my testimony of the Restoration was still rocky, and here I am serving WHERE THE CHURCH WAS RESTORED!?

It didn't take long after taking tours and learning to love people with in the first 10 seconds of knowing them to realize THIS WAS MY CALL. I AM EXACTLY where God needs me to be.

God calls us in our weaknesses, he uses those weaknesses to touch others with similar struggles. He teaches us to trust in him as we feel we are inadequate to perform his labors. I knew nothing about the church in its beginnings. I didn't know who EB Grandin was..(the owner of the book store the book of mormon was first sold at)  I hardly even knew who Martin Harris was... (first scribe to help with the translation proccess of the book of mormon) I didn't know a thing. I still don't know a lot. However, I know enough, I know that it is Gods work, I know that this is Christ church, and that through the book of mormon I have found my Savior and the peace I need in life.

We don't always understand why heavenly father has called us to serve, or why we are where we are.  But we can understand that He knows us, he knows how that calling will be for our benefit.

I don't know why I am so blessed to serve here in such a sacred place, to stand on such holy ground and testify of the events that took place here. I will never in my human mind be able to comprehend the significance of these places in history, or to appreciate the sacrifices made by the early members of the church. But I will always cherish my home here in New York.

This is the land where I have gained a testimony of the power of forgiveness, this is where my heart has been healed, and the savior has forgiven me of my mistakes, he has helped me to understand it's okay to have weaknesses and not be the perfect missionary, as long as I am trying to be better. This land of western New York will forever hold my heart, as I have felt the love of God for his children when I sit in a strangers home and talk of Christs life, to watch the atonement mend and change them... I am blown away and engulfed with such great JOY!

"Serving Him invites the Holy Ghost to be with us. And the Holy Ghost is a cleanser of sin."Henry B. Eyring

Nothing heals the wounded heart like giving your time and heart to the Lord. 

"Those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit are willing to do anything and everything that God asks of them, without resistance or resentment. We cease doing things our way and learn to do them God’s way instead."

I am so thankful he has trusted me with his work and that I am serving him. For anyone who is reading this and planning on serving a mission DO IT DO IT DO IT. It doesn't matter how much or how little you know, all you need is the desire to go. The rest will come. The tesimony will be strengthened over time.

 

"These are days to never be forgotten"

"When you are in the service of your fellow beings you are in the service of your God."

 

It doesn't matter where you have been, the Lord takes us in our weaknesses and wraps us in his loving arms and changes us. He takes us as we sin and as we repent he cleanses us. You are enough to serve God in anyway. It doesn't have to be in the service of a full time mission. We can serve God by serving others. By helping those who are broken find peace.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live, love and deliver peace. I know that they love us, no matter where we have been, they look at us as where we can go and who we can become. The gospel of Jesus Christ is about becoming. Becoming better. ITS TRUE! ITS ALL TRUE!!!!! :)

My mamma taught me to laugh

“Though hard to you this journey may appear, all is well… All is well”

Oh my mission.. I have had quite the experiences.... So last night I fell asleep like a rock. The minute my head touched the pillow I WAS OUT. Around 2:30 I remember having this weird dream, I don't know what it was about or who was in it but all the sudden it was being interrupted by this terrible high pitched alarm... I finally was half way awake and looked over at Sister Anderson to see she was sleeping restlessly in her bed. So I said her names a few times.. "hermana... sister.. anderson.. andy..." She finally answers "what"... "Do you hear that? what is it??" "Yeah.. it's an alarm..." oh okay.. we both lay back down and fall back asleep.. when all the sudden my subconscious mind clicks in... "SISTER CARLSON! THAT IS A FIRE ALARM! GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED!" ohhhhhhhh "Hey sister anderson we should probably make sure everything is okay! get up!" So both of us are totally out of it can't figure out what is going on. so we grab our keys and our phone and go sit outside to try and wake up... Finally after a 20 minute debate we decide to call president francis... As I explain to him that we thought maybe it was a carbon monoxide sensor he says "Your keys should have a remote to turn it off" and I was like woah.. my car key remote can turn it off???" "Yes, just push the button" "President.. this is like a fire alarm though" "OHHHHHHHH... i thought you were saying a car alarm. come to the mission home and spend the night here. we can figure it out in the morning." (hehe so glad he was as confused as we were... ) So we went to the mission home and spent the night there. In the morning as we were getting ready to go home I tripped and fell up the stairs after feeling like my small toe was ripped off all me and sister Anderson could do is laugh. so hard we could barely breath. IT HAD BEEN A NIGHT... Sister Francis made the comment "At least you are able to laugh about it!" 

If you know me, you will know that I HATE WHEN MY SLEEP IS INTERRUPTED. I am sooo grumpy when I get woken up pre alarm clock. I was sooo tired by the time morning really came today all I wanted to do is cry when the alarm went off... Pre mission life I COULD SLEEP IN A LITTLE... As a missionary.. Not an option... sleep in=disobedience.. disobedience=lack of spirit in your day... By the time I stubbed my toe.. I was ready to just drop my bags and go lay in bed... So what do we do? We laugh. 

My mama taught me to laugh. When you want to cry.. Laugh. How we react to our trials is up to us. Something I love about my mom and my family, when ever we get hurt.. We laugh. To keep from crying when we were little my mom would ALWAYS always always make us laugh. I have a funny mom. In her own goofy way she was teaching us to endure well. 

The trials aren't going to go away if we pitch a fit and scream our way through it. The seas wont calm themselves. We NEED Jesus Christ, He can't speak to us if our mind is wrapped up in bitterness, He can't reach us if we are shutting him out, He can't touch our heart if we building up walls around it.. 

However, He can help us find peace, He can help us find joy, He can calm the seas, and He can help us break down the walls. 

Our fire alarm last night ended up being a total false alarm, we could have stayed at home and fallen back asleep and had a cozy night in our own beds... Or we could have not acted on what we felt was right by going to presidents, it could have been something serious and we could have been hurt. 

Right before I went to bed I prayed last night and asked to be able to understand the spirit, the recognize when God is trying to communicate with me. In this simple way he was able to teach me valuable lessons. 

When you feel something is right, even if it seems crazy... follow it. I am glad we followed what we felt to be right even though nothing was wrong or we could have ended up preaching the gospel in the spirit world! Heavenly Father answers our prayers, not always in the way we like or the way we hope. I do know that no matter how the answer comes or the way the answer is delivered God has a purpose for it. 

When You are going through trials you are NEVER ALONE. He is with us each step of the way. To life us, to carry us, he is not on the side lines cheering us on, he is on the field playing with us, picking us up when we are down, helping us to make the goal. He never leaves us or forgets who we are and what we need. He knows what we need, and often times that is the opposite of our wants for ourselves. He knows what will help us reach our divine measure, He has to stretch us a little to get us there.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.

And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.”

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

What does it mean to "endure it well" To me, it means to let go of my own stubborn selfish wants and desires and to trust in what God knows I need. To hang on tight and keep my arms inside the ride. To know that though the journey seems rough.. I can make it through with Christ. That I can have joy even when the seas seem to rough to cross. Christ is there. To help us find happiness. As I was reading in the book of Mormon today I don't even know how many times I saw the words "joy, happiness, happy, joyous, and peaceful" I saw it enough times to realize.. God wants for us to be happy and to find peace in him. 

Happiness is a choice

Fun fact... this picture took me a REALLY LONG TIME TO MAKE.. It was testing my ability to be happy even in difficult circumstances... hahaha. (I think I failed...)

God wants for us to be happy in this life. It's no wonder his plan for us is often referred to as

"The Plan of Happiness."

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

Heavenly father didn't put us here to wander through life hopelessly alone and miserable. Though life is more often than not..REALLY HARD.. It is possible to find joy in the journey.

Happiness is often based off of temporal matters, things that fade. WHY WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES... I KNOW NOT.

So what brings me true, pure, ever lasting happiness???

Obedience. The first law of heaven.

41 And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

 Mosiah 2

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a way of life. A life patterned after Christs example and centered on obedience is a life of spiritual freedom. When I think back to the times in my life that I have been unhappy the root always comes from spiritual hunger. My spirit has been bound because a carelessness in keeping Gods laws and a lack of living the life he has asked me to lead.

The things of life come and go. Friends come and go.. Boys come and go. But Jesus Christ, and heavenly father.. they will never go.

"2 For God doth not walk in crooked paths, neither doth he turn to the right hand nor to the left, neither doth he vary from that which he hath said, therefore his paths are straight, and his course is one eternal round"

my next source of happiness comes from seeking after and feasting on the words of Christ.
 

"20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."

FEAST ON THE WORDS OF CHRIST. One of my favorite terms. To feast on the words of Christ I think of eating your favorite meal, you savor it, you enjoy it, you can't get enough of it, you digest it, and produce it into energy.

I can't get enough of the words of Christ. GIVE ME MORE. I didn't understand how a book could influence my life before my mission. As we read it and really take in the words we read, they become more than just words, they become part of us. We become as the things we read and watch. Reading the book of Mormon and the Bible is helping me to become something more than I knew I was capable of. As I FEAST on the words and turn them into action in my life I change. I grow and I get closer to God. I get closer to being the woman he needs me to be. It's more than just liking a verse, or a phrase. It's reading the stories and making it apply to our life.

Christ was happy. He was loving. As we become like him and follow his life we see in the scriptures, happiness will follow most naturally.

"God hath called me by a holy calling, to preach the word unto this people, and hath given me much success, in the which my joy is full.

14 But I do not joy in my own success alone, but my joy is more full because of the success of my brethren, who have been up to the land of Nephi."

Serve others, love others, help others to find healing through the atonement, be a source of solace and refuge to friends and family, share testimony of Christ.

Teaching others and helping others find their way home to heavenly father has brought me the greatest joy in my life. If you want to forget yourself, and your trials and truly find joy, reach out to those around you and see that each of us has a story, each of us wants to make it back to God. We aren't here to race home, but to help each other find the way. My joy has been full as I help others come to the understanding of their Savior when I watch their eyes light up as they understand who the Savior is to them, and what they are capable of becoming. Even the hard days become easy to bear because I am lost in the joy of God.

Before acting, think to yourself... In the long run will this make me happy? Or is this something that I will only be happy with for right now?

Let go of the past. Stop living in a place you cant go back to and be hopeful that what your future holds will be better. Don't hold onto negative memories, or wish you could be back when you "were once happy" Be happy with where you are today, be happy with who you are surrounded by. be grateful for the friends you have found, and the friends who have stood by your side. don't always be wishing for the ones who have left you, to return.

Don't wish for the future and always be looking forward to a future date. Be happy with what you have now. Live for today and find joy in the simple things. recognize the lords hand in your life and continually give thanks to him. Ask him to show you his miracles and his blessings that I KNOW ARE SURROUNDING YOU. Maybe you aren't the most popular person ever, I know that I have never been a woman of many friends and I felt like a loser. I always have had just one close friend and a lot of times that friend was Christ. Just me and him, taking on the world together, but guess what... He over came the world so that I wouldn't have to. So I know that as the world was being thrown at me he could help lift me up and carry me through. I am thankful for my small close circle of friends that know me almost as well as I know myself. Find friends who become family, and keep your family close.

Don't fear the future but have faith in it. This one is really hard for me. I am really scared as the time of my missions ending is drawing near.. I have great fear in my heart. Am I strong enough to stand alone? To not have a specific time each day set aside to study the words of Christ? Do I have what it takes to still share the gospel even when I don't wear the name tag? Do I have what it takes to stand firm in my covenants I have made with God? Fear not and know that God is with you. I am strong enough, I do have what it takes, AND I will do what it takes to continually find happiness, even when life is changing, and often difficult. You have what it takes.

Trust that God has your life in his hands, that he wont give you anything beyond what you and him can bear together. When the world is crumbling around you remember the savior has been there before, for you. Pay attention to the little moments that matter most. Look for the sun between the clouds.

In the end. YOU. DETERMINE. YOUR. HAPPINESS.

If the people you are around hurt you... find new friends. If you aren't being treated right find the courage you need to make the necessary changes. Remove yourself from situations that you can control and then move forward with peace.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, AND DONT BE AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT.

follow the commandments. read your scriptures, apply what you read. trust in God. Move forward with Faith. and believe. believe that you are enough, that you have enough and that The future is bright. Happiness is available. It is real, and it can be eternal.

True happiness comes from obedience to God. To be spiritually free, brings PURE JOY. Follow Christ. Live a Christ-like life. You will find peace. 

Maybe you have lost your way and feel it's impossible to return, maybe you have the fear that you will never be... perfect enough. Or the fear of letting those you love down.

Don't be afraid to try. Don't be discouraged if you fall. It doesn't matter how many times we fall. God isn't going to laugh at us while we are down. He will be lifting us back up encouraging us to try again. Don't be afraid of who you could become. Don't be afraid to shine, even if your light has been dimmed from the people around you. Be you and love who you are. God didn't create a generic person. He clearly loves diversity. Look at the world around you. No two snow flakes are the same, no finger print is the same as another. Don't be fearful of yourself. Trust in who you are and love it.

If you have lost your way, you can always come back. Christ is always calling.

"ye that have professed to have known the ways of righteousness nevertheless have gone astray, as sheep having no shepherd, notwithstanding a shepherd hath called after you and is still calling after you, but ye will not hearken unto his voice!

38 Behold, I say unto you, that the good shepherd doth call you; yea, and in his own name he doth call you, which is the name of Christ;"

this scripture seemed harsh to me at first, until I read it in a different way. Christ is always calling. no matter how far you stray he does leave his other sheep for a moment to find you. to seek you out and to bring you home. His arms are always stretched out to help you. to teach you and to guide you.

We aren't a perfect creature. Christ would have had no need to come to earth if we were perfect. He came to save us from our sins, from ourselves, and from the destruction sin causes. To heal the pain that is often the residue of a poor choice we have at some point made. Sin is like soap scum in the bottom of your tub, it seems hopeless to even begin trying to scrub it out, but once you apply the Saviors atonement and really repent and do ALL that you can to allow Christ to help you fix what has been broken and allow him to scrub away the guilt that is left in your heart, you can be delivered to safety and return to his fold. It is not to late to start over. It is not to late to return and take back what is yours. Happiness is free. It is available for you. Return to Christ and give up your sins to know him. To find joy in him. and to have your peace of heart restored.

"18 O God, Aaron hath told me thatthere is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at" the last day.

What are you willing to change, and to give to know God? Not to just know of him, but to truly KNOW him..

He loves you. He loves ALLof his children. If coming to know him means a lot of change than do it! It is not worth it to hold onto regret and bitterness. It is not worth it to fear what repentance might take. Repent that he might heal you. Let him heal you.

THAT IS WHERE YOU WILL FIND JOY. true joy can only be found in Christ.