Gethsemane moments

"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

 I have what I call Gethsemane moments. Where once a trial comes I have a mini freak out and plead with Heavenly Father to take it away from me. If it be possible please take this away… I learn either quickly or VERY slowly that it’s not going to pass until the lesson is learned. 

I am not sure if you will remember the post or not, but at the first of my mission I had some really challenging health problems to do with my kidneys, I was producing kidney stones like an m&m factory produces chocolate candy. If you have experienced 1 stone try experiencing 13! It was terrible and each day was miserable, however I would just get up and get to the Lords work. It got to the point I had days where it hurt to move and we would have to come in early and I felt like I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose I was so discouraged, I changed my entire diet and was drinking 4 liters of water a day for no improvement, I finally prayed and pleaded with heavenly father and I asked him to take the pain, I told him “I have done my best and I know that it is only through the atonement of thy son that this can be possible, please take the pain if it be thy will” from that night on I felt no pain in my kidney’s it was indeed a miracle.

Now a little background on me, if you don’t know me, my tummy ALWAYS hurts. I am always nauseous and a lot of different foods make me sick. I paid no attention to which could be doing what until it was pointed out to me that I might not be able to eat gluten anymore. This means… NO MORE OREOS, POP-TARTS-CUPCAKES AND COOOKIES! I was advised to start cutting gluten out.

Day one. MISERABLE. We went to Wal-Mart for the first time since this new diet would be starting… and I had a meltdown. It was the end of my world as I knew it. My whole world had just been flipped upside down. Dramatic I’m sure this seems. But it was HARD. And it still is hard; however it is teaching me that when things are hard DON’T FREAK OUT. Don’t ask that the cup be passed, but ask for the strength to drink from the cup and not recoil. The point is to drink the bitter drink and be made stronger.

We all have a story, to what may seem like the end of my world, could be a small speed bump in another persons’ life journey.  What I do know is that we all have a breaking point and we all get pushed to that limit every once and a while and when we get there IT IS DIFFICULT to not become as a chicken with its head cut off running in circles flapping our wings and freaking out like a two year old toddler who doesn’t want to take a nap.

What I am learning from this new or rather old trial is that it makes life a lot easier when you don’t freak out. Take a moment to morn or feel self-pity and then pick up and move on with faith in Christ. Move forward with hope. My life isn’t over! So what I had to say good bye to cookies, kit kats and Twix… Life will go on with Reeses, corn chips and salsa! Life is a very precious gift from our heavenly father who wanted us to have all that He has. He gave us our bodies so that we could become as He is. That’s a pretty great gift, a gift that no one else could give, for me to complain or say that I hate the way my body is would be a very ungrateful expression, one that I am sure would be very displeasing to me heavenly father. It is a gift that I am indeed grateful for.  Some bodies will pass through sickness and others will be perfectly healthy. That is all part of the plan, to obtain a body, a body that isn’t perfect so that in the day that we are resurrected we can appreciate a resurrected perfect body, a perfect pain free body.

Christ suffered these things so that our life wouldn’t be a lonely walk; He walked the lonely path so that we would have to. He knows it is discouraging at times, but cheer up; he is there to hold your hand and guide you home. 

“18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”

John 14:18

He will not leave us alone, He will never forsake us. The only times we feel alone are the times that we forsake him. Remember him and He will be there... ALWAYS. Walk with him and he will guide you, Love him and receive love in return. Jesus Christ is my best friend, the man I know that no matter what I can count on him. He lives. He loves, and He gives all that he has freely. Walk to him.

“27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.

 28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.

 29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

 31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

 32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.

33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

34 ¶And when they were gone over, they came into the land of Gennesaret.

35 And when the men of that place had knowledge of him, they sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased;

 36 And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.”

Matthew 14

Peter didn’t sink until he became fearful of the storm around him, as he kept his eye focused on Christ he walked across the tempest sea. As he took a moment to recoil and think about what was around him he began to sink. Keep your eye single to Christ as you pass through various storms and He will keeps us a float, and for times we lose faith and let fear in he will be there to catch us and remind us what this journey is all about.Drink from the bitter cup and become better.

Be calm, don’t freak out, and keep your faith.