As a missionary, we have days where we see TONS OF PEOPLE, teach tons of people and see huge miracles... or you have epic days where you plan to see tons of people, teach tons of people, and you see... None of them. Where you make these beautiful plans and every single one of them falls through. You come home dead tired and even a little discouraged.
Some times I feel like Nephi...
"2 But behold, there are many that harden their hearts against the Holy Spirit, that it hath no place in them; wherefore, they cast many things away which are written and esteem them as things of naught.
3 But I, Nephi, have
written what I have written, and I esteem it as of great worth, and especially
unto my people. For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my
pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know
that he will hear my cry."
Have you ever had one of those days where you can feel you will either be in the best mood ever or the worst mood ever? I had one of those days.. yesterday. I woke up and I instantly felt this urge to just be grumpy. To yell at every one I laid eyes on and to just march around or go hide in a garbage can like Oscar the grouch. I was cranky with out reason. So I began singing church songs as I laid on the floor and stretched and attempted to work my arms out. I went through every funny memory in my life talking to sister Dimick doing my best to just keep swimming and not be a jerk.
We had an incredible morning after this with two beautiful lessons. We returned home for lunch and my same grumpy self was hovering just waiting for something to set me off. I AM A MISSIONARY. I CAN'T BE IN A BAD MOOD!!
Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days where we had a million epic plans. We walked until our feet were numb from being cold, we knocked doors until our knuckles wanted to fall off and the only one that answered was less than welcoming to our chipper smiling faces, as she denied us I felt my eyes slowly filling up with tears... "Don't do it hermana... don't you dare cry.. keep smiling with hope" Here in New York there is a phrase that all missionaries are familiar with. "I am all set" The phrase that you often here before the door is slammed. The phrase you often hear before you even open your mouth to speak. The phrase you hear as you glance in the general direction of a passer by.
If only these people knew what they were saying no to... THIS IS YOUR ETERNAL HAPPINESS!!
As we drove to our next destination my heart was a little low. I was in serious need of a pick me up. So we continued onward to put air in our tires... As we walked into the auto shop every one scattered as they saw two smiling faces dressed in church clothes wearing Christs name over our hearts! At this point I was ready to give up. Finally a worker greets us with an attitude of "great. All my coworkers jumped ship and now I have to do this." He directed us to drive around the building and told us some one would be out shortly to help. At this point we drove around the building and STILL NO HELP. Now my heart is crushed. Next denial or avoiding me like i am leprosy and I am done. I am going home. I am going to bed and I AM NEVER LEAVING MY ROOM AGAIN!!!!
This is when I realized my attitude was disgusting. I was becoming cynical and almost laughing at the fact of how many people had rejected us. I could feel this was going to be a Nephi night, we would return home and my tears would water my pillow because of the hardness of the hearts of the people.
Our last stop was to visit a member from our ward who is in the hospital. We knew his always smiling personality is exactly what we needed. As we arrived in his room his face was beaming with joy! Instantly my heart was soaring! We had a really neat experience as we made connections with his nurse. TURNS OUT SHE KNOWS A MORMON! and he is a missionary too! It was really cool.
Look for the little things. As we drove away from rejection street and the corner of disappointment a kind man stopped and waved us into traffic so that we wouldn't have to wait for ever. The older guy walking his dog smiled and waved at us and talked to us for a small moment.
On the drive home my spirits were a little higher. We began to talk about what makes us happy in life.
We started to recognize the tender mercies in our lives. As we started talk about the gospel, about our families, and the miracles we see each day we were now smiling and even a little laughter was shared. Before we knew it we were happy, we were feeling successful. We were feeling that we did the best we could, although nothing worked out, everything fell into place making us better today than we were yesterday.
“But
behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord
are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make
them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” (1 Ne. 1:20).
Look for the little things each day that show the lord is watching out for you. As you stop to think about the small blessings you will realize how many the lord provides each and every day.
Every one has had that day that seems like it was an epic failure, the only way we can fail is by not trying at all. So get up tomorrow and try again. There is no such thing as a bad day. There are only bad moments in a day. We choose how they will effect us. You either become bitter or better.
Find the small things that make you smile and focus on that. Look for things to laugh at. Yesterday everything in my head either became a rock song or a rap. I had to do what it took to smile. Whether is was singing a Christmas song to sister dimick humming lion king song over and over again or singing a song about a black and yellow Camero. FIND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. Change your thought process and find the good. There is good and bad to every situation. What will you focus on?
We all have that day where nothing goes as we planned. But remember, you did your best, just keep trying. Miley Cyrus says it best "No body's perfect, you live and you learn it, again and again til you get it right"
Get up, chin up and never give up. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain"
By the end of the night last night we were laughing until we were crying and we knew that we tried, we gave the lord our best and that was enough. "Just keep swimming" pushing on with hope that tomorrow people will want to listen, that your plans will go smoothly, that tomorrow can always be a better day.
"25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
2 Nephi 2:25
Find joy in every moment. Find peace even when you want to give up. Smile until your cheeks hurt. And remember that we weren't sent to earth to be miserable. We were sent to earth to learn. Some times growth hurts. I remember when I was little and growing my legs and arms would hurt and my mom referred to it as growing pains. Some times the lord stretches us a little so we will have to feel "growing pains" and rely on him more. Trust in him and know that all is well because your life is in his hands. When we get to the point of knowing that he is taking care of us we can find greater peace. peace in the little things. :) LIFE IS GOOD. Life is what you make it.
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