I have found very quickly that with out my Savior I am nothing, BUT with my Savior I can become everything.
When I got my call to the New York Rochester Mission Hill Cumorah Visitor Center I had a mini panic attack about this. WHY? Because I have a fear of speaking in public.. Put me in a public speaking position and I am instant anxiety, barf... want to run away crying. So I knew that being here would not come easy.
My first transfer here every tour made me want to cry. I would do all I could to pass the tours off to other sisters. I felt so inadequate to be here. I didn't understand why heavenly father called me to speak Spanish. in a visitor center. where i would be speaking to to groups of people each day. learning sooo many new things about Joseph Smith and the Historical sites. I found myself asking if "was this a mistake? Am I qualified to be here? What is going on!?" The answer is NO it was not a mistake, YES I am qualified to be here and my call was inspired by Heavenly Father.
Day by day I would take a tour and I would still want to throw up, my mind would blank out, my hands would sweat and my tongue was in knots. I found myself very discouraged, I would leave a shift feeling really bad about myself as a missionary. I tried to get over this fear on my own, but day after day I didn't find it to be getting and easier. That is when I realized that I needed to let myself go, to humble myself and take it to my Heavenly Father, that it was only through him that I could be made stronger. so One night I knelt in prayer. I told my father in Heaven that I was struggling to get over my shyness, I felt I wasn't being the missionary He called me to be. I was here to strengthen the saints and I was hardly reaching that expectation.
A few days went by and it wasn't getting better. I had dreams about bad tours it was haunting me every where. I didn't understand how to lead by the spirit when I was so full of fear. I then realized that I was not fully understanding to concept of faith in the atonement. Heavenly Father humbled me quick by having Brandon Flowers(the singer of the killers) coming in and my companion and I took him on tour. I knew that this would be the most intimidating tour I'd ever give to some one. We ended up singing "I need Thee every hour" and any one that knows me, I DON'T SING FOR ANYONE! ESPECIALLY Brandon Flowers. But I had no choice. My companion had already started.
Heavenly Father knew that by me taking him on tour all of my fears would be swallowed up in one tour. After that day each tour grew easier and easier tour by tour I found myself learning to connect with each family that came in, in unique ways adapting to what they needed by listening carefully in my heart what the holy ghost was trying to tell me.
Through this experience I have learned so much about how important it is to let the natural man go, to jump blindly into having faith in the Savior Jesus Christ and giving my weaknesses into him so that they can become strengths. I know that He is the reason I have battled and overcame this fear. With out Him it could have never been possible. I have had this fear since the beginning of my time here on earth. I was born shy and I thought I was going to die shy. I am still a woman of few facts one tours, but I have learned to love and connect with people as they come through, always with a prayer in my heart that heavenly father through the holy ghost will tell me what each person is in need of hearing. I never understood what Visitor Sister Center missionaries like myself do, I didn't understand the importance of my call. I feel so honored to be here, where the church was restored to help strengthen the members of this churchs' testimonies and to help them come closer to Christ.
I am not the most eloquent of people, but I have learned quickly that eloquence isn't a requirement as long as I have sincerity and love. I have found these qualities to be important through the help of my savior. I am soooo thankful for my father in heaven, for my savior Jesus Christ and the power of the holy ghost for being here making me strong when I can't do it on my own. Lifting me up when I am on my knees, and building my confidence when it was at a low.
I know that if we take our weaknesses and our fears to God that they can become strengths, they will put you through the refiners fire to shape us into who we need to be as better children of God. My tours are far from perfect, but I feel my self growing more each day.
I appreciate and am so beyond grateful for this call. This opportunity to meet such beautiful amazing people. Often times at the end of the tours I find myself feeling like I am saying goodbye to a family member knowing that alot of these tours I probably wont see again in this life. I am indeed grateful though to be making so many new friends for the life to come and for all eternity.
We don't need to be of many words to be qualified to serve. All we need is to know it's true, testify, trust in god, and the Spirit does the rest :)
https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/youth-curriculum-2013/05-may?lang=eng
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Finding the light.
When you find yourself in a room alone in the dark the feelings aren't always at ease. At night after I shut off my light and run for the bed leaping and jumping as quickly as I can to my safe zone. Trying my best to not trip and stub my toes. The moment a light is shut off it is swallowed by darkness. By the flip of a switch it can be back on. Or when I think back to when I was a child and the power would go out, with my mom and family but the feeling of uneasiness in the dark was still there. But the instant a candle is lit... the darkness can no longer exist. it might surround, but the light always over powers the dark. The darkness is there waiting to close in but we have the ability to keep it away.
At times we find ourselves in darkness, in times of trial, or moments we are lost. at first we don't truly notice it, day by day something starts to feel off, not at ease.. as time passes that uncomfortable feeling grows. Though we may be surrounded by those we love we still aren't comfortable. It's not always easy to pin point those feelings of discomfort or where they are coming from. The lights aren't shut off all at once, they are slowly dimmed until we are buried in the dark. It is so easy to become over whelmed when our lives seem to be burdened. To give into the darkness and to let go of the light. It is easy to become bitter or angry..
When trials come I find myself in a pitty party in my head at first. I find myself in a familiar dark room, stubbing my toes on chairs as i try to find my way through on my own. It is so easy to go to self reliance. It is our nature to depend on self survival. But we don't just need to survive life, we need to enjoy it as well. We don't have to feel our way through the dark room in hopes that we don't stub our toes, or run into those obstacles. The light doesn't have to be at the end of the tunnel. The light can be there to guide us through the tunnel.
As easy as it is to become over come by darkness it to is easy to over come the darkness with the flip of a switch, the stroke of a match, or a cry to our father in heaven through that we may obtain an inkling of light to brighten the way. Darkness never can cover the light. It may start out no brighter than a match.
As we continue to trust in our father and give our fear to him the light might turn more into that of a candle. We now are starting to pray and ask for guidance and to follow that which our father is telling us and we find our selves with a flash light, the room is starting to become brighter. You can see the obstacles instead of stubbing your toe on the corner of your bed that has been there since the beginning of time, you are more prepared for the trials.
We may be with those that we love in these times and not understand what this feeling is, we can become discouraged and be more lost in the ways that aren't always pleasing or bearing our burdens on our shoulders alone.
A man once carried those burden upon his shoulders so that we wouldn't need to carry them alone. He wasn't just any man, He is our savior, our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. He carried them alone and so that we wouldn't have to. He felt that pain of how heavy our trials and our mistakes would be. So that we could have some one to relate to. He did these things so that we would seek him in times of despair. We never have to be alone, but at times we unknowingly choose so. Christ is always with us or waiting to be with us. he never leaves us, but at times we turn away and leave him.
We often find our souls wandering a prayer away from hope and serenity and direction from light. Feast upon the words of Christ through the book of Mormon and through the bible, feel the light increasing and the burdens become light. Trust in the Lord that he CAN and WILL carry the burdens. He will take them upon his shoulders once again an bare them with you.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Matthew 11:29-30
As disciples of Christ the member of this church are asked to share this light with those whom don't know where to obtain it, they might be lost and not even know that they are looking to be found.
13 ¶Ye are the salt
of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it
be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and
to be trodden under foot of men.
15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 5:13-16
We are asked to be the light of the world. To not hide that light, to not be ashamed of that light, but to be a beacon of hope for the wandering soul, seeking to find the truth. We have Jesus Christ as our main light, our light house at that.. making it more easy for us to find our way back to him, but as we go through our journey we must be a lower light to the people who have been tossed through life's journey to direct them back to shore and to help them find direction to that light house that they've been floating around not knowing they were searching for it. Never be ashamed of who you are to let your light radiate through all that you do. Be the match in the dark room guiding one through to help them find the switch to chase away all darkness.
No matter how dark times may feel to us, light always prevails. NEVER let fear, loss of hope, or doubt swallow you up. Find ways to obtain light, guidance, and direction, trust in the lord and always follow him. He will guide us through each time. Make him your best friend and there will be no trial, no temptation and no sin that you can not over come. But only can this be done through him.
The storms will pass and the air will clear. Look for the light house and be directed to safety. The lord is our light. our source of comfort, have no fear and know that he can be with you at all times and in all places as we live worthily of this promise.
“Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.” (D&C 68:5–6.)
Jesus sought me when a stranger
"Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
I'll praise the mount I'm fixed upon it
Mount of thy redeeming love
Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by thy help I come
And I hope by thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wondering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above"
We all come to earth, we all experience moments of a wondering soul. We all experience joy. We however, were not just plopped here like it's a game. We are here to make our place in the kingdom of heaven. To be Christs hands on earth.
There was a time I found myself wondering from the truth, I had not yet found it fully for myself. I had been borrowing my testimony from others. My parents believed it so why shouldn't I? my brothers and sisters lived it... so shouldn't I do the same? Then I moved from Utah to New Jersey. A place I had never been, a place where I wasn't sure where I fit in, where I didn't know anyone. The nearest church was 25 minutes from home, I was used to having a street with in 2 minutes in each direction of my home. My testimony was already wavering my mind was distancing from what was important. Week by week I missed church. My light was dimming.
July 2011 my life was forever changed. I had made one friend there in New Jersey, she told me about a road trip she'd be taking with others from our YSA stake would be going to the Hill Cumorah pageant. I was shy and had no desires, plus I didn't want to spend my long weekend off going to that and spend my hard earned money driving 6 hours. She texted my boss and my boss told her I would go. So there I was in a situation I couldn't get myself out of. Heavenly Father knew I needed to be here and he'd do all he could to get me there.
On the car ride there I was tired and wanted to sleep, I didn't want to be there and I wanted to be at home. I found myself praying, asking heavenly father what I was doing with my life. I asked him to help me find truth as we were going to be walking through the sacred grove later on. I prayed and asked him if he heard me and what his plan for me was.
We finally arrived. Muggy, New York summer, I wasn't thrilled. We began our walk through the sacred grove, my first thoughts were "I am sure it's just like any other forest, these things happened so long ago how could you still feel it?" I found my self frozen on the path some distance in. I was overwhelmed with this sense of warmth that washed through my entire body, I felt peace, I felt comfort, and I felt like Heavenly Father was aware of me. We then met at a small gathering place within the grove, we sat and waited to hear from the mission President of the New York Rochester mission. He started speaking, and I felt like he was speaking to me as he shared the story of a tree.
This tree in the grove had planted it's self in a place that wasn't fit to grow. This tree had grown large in size, but not in health. It was planted on marshy land and never sunk it's roots in deeply, the winds came and the tree gave in, it fell. On it's fall it didn't just go down by it's self it took down with it the surrounding trees. Through it's life this tree had been living on the water but not becoming nourished from it. I saw that I was this tree, I attended church at my convenience but never did I fully immerse myself into the gospel. I did what it took to get by. I realized that the winds in my life were coming and I was near my falling point and who knew who I would take down with me. I realized then and there that my life was in need of drastic changes. I knew I needed to start going back to church and that I was to serve a mission. I was only 20 so I had a whole year to work towards it and I felt the fire coming back.
The savior is aware of us. He places certain people in our lives at certain times. He knows where we need to be to hear what he is trying to tell us. He knows the way we can be changed. I was lost from the fold and Jesus found me through President Christianson who is now my mission President.
Oh how important it is that we plant ourselves deeply that we become converted to this gospel at some point in our lives. We must put our beliefs and our testimony to action to become converted into that belief. We must exercise the faith we have so that it can grow. Faith only stays the same and weakens when it is not put to work. I never want to be lost from the fold again. The happiness this gospel and Jesus Christ provide to my life is beyond anything the world could provide. I am so thankful that he doesn't give up on us when we are lost. We have our agency to come back, but he does all that he can to find us. How important it is that we listen closely to the holy ghost so we wont miss what Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are trying to teach us.
It is my prayer daily to become more like Him to strive each day to never wander away again, to live with my Father in Heaven for eternity. To over come my natural woman and to be repulsed by sin. How important I have found it to be to repent each day and to change, to take my weaknesses to God and ask for his divine hand. It is only through he that we can reach eternal life, it is only through he that we can over come temptation. feast upon the words of Christ and deepen the roots of your testimony so deeply into your hearts so that you might not fall when changes, and trials come. Be so converted that you will never move. The Lord needs us as his hands to bring together his fold so that we all can end at his feet some day. We are human and we will wander to and fro at points in our lives, but it is so crucial to find out way back, to do our best to stay on the path to eternal life. To live in our saviors example.
All he wants is for us to be happy and to show we love him. If we love him we MUST keep the commandments. So simple yet so hard at times. We are forever in debt to him, I feel that it is the least i can do to show my love to him. I am so thankful for this gospel and how much it has changed my very existence. I desire to give him my heart more and more each day so that it can be perfected in him. I desire to have him teach me the ways I should go, how I can teach others, love others and be his hands to guide them home.
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
I'll praise the mount I'm fixed upon it
Mount of thy redeeming love
Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by thy help I come
And I hope by thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wondering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above"
We all come to earth, we all experience moments of a wondering soul. We all experience joy. We however, were not just plopped here like it's a game. We are here to make our place in the kingdom of heaven. To be Christs hands on earth.
There was a time I found myself wondering from the truth, I had not yet found it fully for myself. I had been borrowing my testimony from others. My parents believed it so why shouldn't I? my brothers and sisters lived it... so shouldn't I do the same? Then I moved from Utah to New Jersey. A place I had never been, a place where I wasn't sure where I fit in, where I didn't know anyone. The nearest church was 25 minutes from home, I was used to having a street with in 2 minutes in each direction of my home. My testimony was already wavering my mind was distancing from what was important. Week by week I missed church. My light was dimming.
July 2011 my life was forever changed. I had made one friend there in New Jersey, she told me about a road trip she'd be taking with others from our YSA stake would be going to the Hill Cumorah pageant. I was shy and had no desires, plus I didn't want to spend my long weekend off going to that and spend my hard earned money driving 6 hours. She texted my boss and my boss told her I would go. So there I was in a situation I couldn't get myself out of. Heavenly Father knew I needed to be here and he'd do all he could to get me there.
On the car ride there I was tired and wanted to sleep, I didn't want to be there and I wanted to be at home. I found myself praying, asking heavenly father what I was doing with my life. I asked him to help me find truth as we were going to be walking through the sacred grove later on. I prayed and asked him if he heard me and what his plan for me was.
We finally arrived. Muggy, New York summer, I wasn't thrilled. We began our walk through the sacred grove, my first thoughts were "I am sure it's just like any other forest, these things happened so long ago how could you still feel it?" I found my self frozen on the path some distance in. I was overwhelmed with this sense of warmth that washed through my entire body, I felt peace, I felt comfort, and I felt like Heavenly Father was aware of me. We then met at a small gathering place within the grove, we sat and waited to hear from the mission President of the New York Rochester mission. He started speaking, and I felt like he was speaking to me as he shared the story of a tree.
This tree in the grove had planted it's self in a place that wasn't fit to grow. This tree had grown large in size, but not in health. It was planted on marshy land and never sunk it's roots in deeply, the winds came and the tree gave in, it fell. On it's fall it didn't just go down by it's self it took down with it the surrounding trees. Through it's life this tree had been living on the water but not becoming nourished from it. I saw that I was this tree, I attended church at my convenience but never did I fully immerse myself into the gospel. I did what it took to get by. I realized that the winds in my life were coming and I was near my falling point and who knew who I would take down with me. I realized then and there that my life was in need of drastic changes. I knew I needed to start going back to church and that I was to serve a mission. I was only 20 so I had a whole year to work towards it and I felt the fire coming back.
The savior is aware of us. He places certain people in our lives at certain times. He knows where we need to be to hear what he is trying to tell us. He knows the way we can be changed. I was lost from the fold and Jesus found me through President Christianson who is now my mission President.
Oh how important it is that we plant ourselves deeply that we become converted to this gospel at some point in our lives. We must put our beliefs and our testimony to action to become converted into that belief. We must exercise the faith we have so that it can grow. Faith only stays the same and weakens when it is not put to work. I never want to be lost from the fold again. The happiness this gospel and Jesus Christ provide to my life is beyond anything the world could provide. I am so thankful that he doesn't give up on us when we are lost. We have our agency to come back, but he does all that he can to find us. How important it is that we listen closely to the holy ghost so we wont miss what Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are trying to teach us.
It is my prayer daily to become more like Him to strive each day to never wander away again, to live with my Father in Heaven for eternity. To over come my natural woman and to be repulsed by sin. How important I have found it to be to repent each day and to change, to take my weaknesses to God and ask for his divine hand. It is only through he that we can reach eternal life, it is only through he that we can over come temptation. feast upon the words of Christ and deepen the roots of your testimony so deeply into your hearts so that you might not fall when changes, and trials come. Be so converted that you will never move. The Lord needs us as his hands to bring together his fold so that we all can end at his feet some day. We are human and we will wander to and fro at points in our lives, but it is so crucial to find out way back, to do our best to stay on the path to eternal life. To live in our saviors example.
All he wants is for us to be happy and to show we love him. If we love him we MUST keep the commandments. So simple yet so hard at times. We are forever in debt to him, I feel that it is the least i can do to show my love to him. I am so thankful for this gospel and how much it has changed my very existence. I desire to give him my heart more and more each day so that it can be perfected in him. I desire to have him teach me the ways I should go, how I can teach others, love others and be his hands to guide them home.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Bringing the world his truth.
There is a song when I was little that always struck very powerfully to my soul. It wasn't until I was 21 and in the Missionary Training Center that I fully realized the power behind the words.
"We have been born, as Nephi of old,
To goodly parents who love the Lord.
We have been taught, and we understand,
That we must do as the Lord commands.
"We have been born, as Nephi of old,
To goodly parents who love the Lord.
We have been taught, and we understand,
That we must do as the Lord commands.
We have been saved for these latter days
To build the kingdom in righteous ways.
We hear the words our prophet declares:
"Let each who's worthy go forth and share."
To build the kingdom in righteous ways.
We hear the words our prophet declares:
"Let each who's worthy go forth and share."
We know his plan, and we will prepare,
Increase our knowledge through study and prayer.
Daily we'll learn until we are called
To take the gospel to all the world.
Increase our knowledge through study and prayer.
Daily we'll learn until we are called
To take the gospel to all the world.
We are as the army of Helaman.
We have been taught in our youth.
And we will be the Lord's missionaries
To bring the world his truth."
We have been taught in our youth.
And we will be the Lord's missionaries
To bring the world his truth."
(We'll Bring the World His Truth (Army of Helaman)
It hit very strongly when we were in the MTC and we changed the last line to "we are now the lords missionaries to bring the world his truth"
In the morning as I get ready each morning I put on a name tag that states who I am an who I serve. How honoured I feel each day as I wear the saviors name over my heart. But it goes beyond the name tag and to what we as missionaries do each and every day.
as a missionary for the church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints we find people and teach them about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. The same Gospel that our savior set up when He was alive has been restored the prophet Joseph Smith in the spring of 1820 along with that we also have The Book Of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ. Not to replace the Holy Bible but to give us the full truth and nature of God, to testify the fullness of our savior Jesus Christ.
The book of Mormon has changed my life. I first read it fully when I was 18. At first I was stubborn about it, I didn't understand how a book could change my life. I didn't want to read it. I finally quit being stubborn and decided I had nothing to lose by reading it. As I first read it I was a little confused, day by day I found myself more and more intrigued by the words it held, and before I knew it I knew it was more than just a book, I knew that it was special, as I read it I found answers to my life, to my hearts prayers, and each day I read it I grew closer to my Father in heaven. I know that this isn't just another book, and that it indeed is the true word of god and that it can change lives every where. I have witnessed lives changing just by reading a few words from it. It has the power and ability to heal our souls as we learn more about our savior and his atonement.
My parents found it very important to teach us about this Gospel at a very young age and to teach us who God is and who Jesus Christ is an what he does for us. For as long as I can remember I have felt a very deep love for my Savior. The savior and redeemer of the world. I knew that I needed to share that love and that hope I gain through reading the book of Mormon, and from knowing about Heavenly Fathers plan for each and every one of us.
He intends for us to live with him forever. Unfortunately we all make mistakes and become imperfect, but he provided the way back for us and that is through his plan The Plan Of Happiness, Or The Plan Of Salvation. He doesn't want to lose any of his children, he wants to be with us all forever so he provided a savior to us. To bring redemption so that we could be clean of our sins. The savior is Gods only begotten son. He suffered for us in the Garden of Gethsemane he died on the cross and was resurrected. He over came sin, temptation, and death for us so that we could live and be cleansed from sin.
When we sin we feel guilt, we feel sorrow, but those feelings of guilt and sorrow can be removed through repentance, we can ask our father in heaven for forgiveness and we can change, by being baptized by some one holding gods priesthood authority, and following the saviors example, by having faith in him and by having faith in him we can know that our sins are forgiven when we repent. We have the desire to follow his examples and to change to become better each and every day.
I know that our savior lives, I know that he knows each of us by name and that he loves us each individually. He knows of our joy, our pain, or sorrow, and our desires. He knows all. He is here to help us when our own strength is far from enough. We can know these things by reading the book of Mormon and praying to know if it is true for our selves. I did these things and I have felt the truth of it. It has changed my life and I know that it will change others.
People don't need to be in darkness, we don't need to feel alone. We are never alone, we can always have the saviors love around us by praying and asking for his love and his comfort. I am almost 22 years old and there is no where in the world I would rather be at this time in my life than here in the New York Rochester Mission teaching people about the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. I love this gospel and the peace it brings to my life at all times. Nothing beats the joy I feel in my heart each day when i wake up knowing that I am going to be an instrument in the hands of our father in heaven in teaching people about his son, in teaching people about his gospel and the fullness of it.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
DAUGHTER OF A KING
"Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.” "
https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-young-women-meeting/2010/03/your-happily-ever-after?lang=eng
- President Dieter F Uchdtdorf
" 10 ¶Who can find a
-Proverbs 31:10-12
The way the world is now days to be virtuous is considered a thing of the past, to have standards is mocked. But in reality it is our virtue and our divine attributes of womanhood that should be most cherished. To be selective of whom we give our hearts is what the Lord desires. To find men worthy of our love is important. The more I am out on my mission the more I realize the eternal perspective of marriage. It's not a matter of how much fun we have, if He plays guitar, if he sings well, is He attractive, all though all of those are major bonus points, what I am beginning to realize is important is does he honor his priesthood? Does he realize the worth of a daughter of god? Does he love his family? and how will He be as a future father.
To be virtuous goes so much deeper than virtuous actions. I have learned that it goes farther than the way I act into the way I think, and speak. Thoughts lead to words, words lead to action. To have clean language, and clean thoughts has become soooo important to me. I want to reflect my savior Jesus Christ in all that I do and say.
So many girls will do anything it takes to have the man of her dreams love her, they forget to stop and think of their worth to God. They are seeking to find love in all the wrong places. We lose track of our divine worth and our importance in the Kingdom of God. Girls, it is soooo important to know of your divinity, your worth to God. We as women are one of his most precious creations. DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS. BE SURE THAT HE IS WORTHY OF YOUR HEART.
Trials come, the waves toss our ship, the wolves ascend and we forget who we are at times, we set our sites low and we become trapped in a place that we don't know how we got their. In a world less than happy. We seek to find happiness through falling in love. When I was fourteen a very good family friend of mine took me aside one day and he asked me "Ashley. Do you love yourself?" being a 14 year old girl my response was confused He then replied "Before you can give your heart to a man, before you can love any man, you must first LOVE YOURSELF" and that has stuck with me for the last 7 years... Before I give of my heart fully to anyone I must first know the worth of my own soul, I must first give of my heart to my Savior Jesus Christ. To be refined, to learn of pure love, trust, and faith. When we find who we are in Christ we will find others who have also found them selves in Him. We will have the holy ghost with us to show us of men who are worthy.
I have only been on my mission for 4 months and I have already learned so much about who I am and who the lord wants for me to become. My faith in My Father in Heaven is growing each and every day.
" 4 Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with asurety bhope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which chope cometh of dfaith, maketh an eanchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in fgood works, being led to gglorify God."
Ether 12:4 (book of Mormon)
My heart desires to have Christ anchoring my soul. I want for my roots to be planted so firmly that I wont shake when temptations come. When the whirlwinds of life come toward me I want to know that I love my father in heaven so much that I will do my best to not let him down, to not disappoint him.
"12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your bfoundation;
that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts
in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty cstorm
shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down
to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye
are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build
they cannot fall."
Heleman 5:12 (book of Mormon)
Don't give up, don't settle, your prince charming will come. Set your eyes for the highest, reach for the kingdom of god and he will direct you there. Follow the path back to the feet of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Know of your worth, your divine beauty, and set goals for the highest ways possible. Times get hard, smooth talkers come and go, heart breakers may come, BUT don't stop searching, don't lose hope, he is out there.
Self respect is key, if you respect yourself he will respect you. If you don't know of your beauty neither will he. Know your worth. You are a daughter of a king, our father in heaven created you. You are beautiful, inside and out. Keep pushing through.
We all make choices at times that make us feel like we aren't special or that we aren't worthy to be in the presence of God, we are human, and we give into the natural man. This is why our father in heaven sent his Son so that we could repent, we could change these actions, we can pray and ask for forgiveness and we can move forward in faith and hope. Repentance is here, forgiveness is obtainable. Just because you've wandered from the path never means that you should lose hope. Jesus Christ is waiting to receive you in his arms of mercy, to forgive you, to mend your broken heart, to heal your spirit and to make you whole. Finding Christ is finding yourself. When you find Christ lose yourself in His infinite love and find who he needs you to become. No person is ever to far gone to be forgiven. His atonement is infinite. Not only does is cover our sins. But it heals the wounds caused by sin. It heals the wounds caused by others actions. I know that each and every one of us can be healed through the Savior. He has healed my heart, and he has mended my soul. I am finding who I am and who I need to be through him. I know that this is possible for all who will take His name upon them. I know that we are all children of God and we can inherit his kingdom. We are children of a king.
"16 ¶For a God so b loved the c world, that he d gave his e only begotten f Son, that whosoever g believeth in him should not perish, but have h everlasting i life."
-John 3:16
Your are almost to your Happily Ever After. Fight for it. It is your right. Push through and never lose hope. <3
Friday, May 17, 2013
The Atonement
One of the BEST things about working at the visitor centers is being able to read talks online every day when we don't have tours. I read this one by Elder Bednar that opened my eyes to a whole new view on the Atonement and what it does for us.
http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/04/the-atonement-and-the-journey-of-mortality?lang=eng
Something that I loved is that if we truly understand and use the atonement that it will change my very nature. I will become a while new creature.
http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/04/the-atonement-and-the-journey-of-mortality?lang=eng
Something that I loved is that if we truly understand and use the atonement that it will change my very nature. I will become a while new creature.
" 24 For, said he, I have repented of my sins, and have been redeemed of the Lord; behold I am born of the Spirit.
25 And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;
26 And thus they become new creatures; and unless they do this, they can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God."
-Mosiah 27
I like 26 and thus they became new creatures. When we truly repent and choose to change and to follow Christ by keeping his commandments and repent of our short comings and work to become better our very personalities change and we become better.
Something that changes my view on things is when Elder Bednar speaks about Nephi being bound he doesn't pray to be removed from his situation or to have the situation become easier but he asks in faith to over come his situation. I know that in my life when things get hard I tend to plea with the Lord first asking him to remove my burdens and to make the things which are troubling me to be removed, and this is because I don't understand the Atonement fully. After pleading with the lord i realize how irrational I am being and when I finally ask the right question and I ask for strength to over come, to be strong enough to pull through, that is when Jesus Christ rescues me.
Life is not always easy. We have trials and they can either make us or break us. Since I have been on my mission I have been struggling with my health. My kidneys want to be a stone factory and produce rocks all day every day. In the MTC i had to get surgery to remove some of them(i had 13) The pain was excruciating and I was getting discouraged with not being able to be in my classes learning Spanish and how to teach the gospel to those who know nothing about it. I felt like I wasn't full filling my purpose as a missionary. I was getting cranky and my faith was stretching thin. It wasn't until i ended up in the emergency room a week before I was scheduled to fly to New York that I realized what a negative Nancy i was becoming. My parents came to visit me at the ER and I was inches from coming home. I told my mom I couldn't do it anymore. I told her my faith was stretching thin and I wasn't sure what more I could take. The time came to head back to the MTC and I knew that if I was to tell my mom I wanted to return home she would have allowed it and thought no less of me. But i boarded the Mtc shuttle and stared my journey back to The Missionary Training Center.
Sunday morning came and I was in excruciating pain. I didn't know what to do or how I could over come it. I had been praying and praying for it to stop. Begging heavenly father to take it from me. That is when I realized how pathetic I had been, I re directed my train of thought and began to ask the Lord how I could remain faithful, strong and endure this problem. My very nature was beginning to change from the temper tantrum to the how can I over come this. Day by day I grow a step closer to over coming these problems with my health. Each day I am in severe pain but each morning I start with a prayer asking God for help to get through.
The atonement doesn't only cover out sins. But it covers our afflictions, our short comings, the moments we try our best but we still feel like nothing is pulling through. When we put our trust in god and tell him "Heavenly Father I have been given this situation, help me become a better person because of this, what am I to learn, and how can I grow closer to thee through these burdens" Trials are not meant to break us, but to define and to reform us. I find comfort also in knowing that when I am giving my best pushing my hardest every single day that when I come up short of my destination that my Savior Jesus Christ is the to push me up the rest of the way. Its a matter of trust. Letting go and letting him take over, guiding me to where he needs me to be. Letting go of my natural woman and striving to be more like Him.
I know with all of my heart that The Savior Jesus Christ did in fact Atone for us, our salvation has been paid for by him, our lives can be eternal because of him. and all he says in return is "If you love me keep my commandments" We are forever in debt to our Savior. We could never repay Him for what he did for us. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Try our best to repent, to change the very creatures we are and to come a step closer to our heavenly father each and every day.
I know that he knows us all by name, that he saw each and every one of our faces in Gethsemane as he suffered for us. He knew what we would have to suffer in this life and so that it wouldn't be so painful he took the burden upon him and over came the struggles and trials for us. What comfort I find in knowing that he know EXACTLY what I am feeling, when I feel like I am alone in the world I am not. He KNOWS EVERY DESIRE EVERY PAIN EVERY FEELING OF MY HEART. He is my best friend. He will never leave you or me. But at times the choices we make lead to us leaving him, BUT he is always waiting with his arms stretched for to wrap up up in his forgiveness and his atonement and everything can be made whole once again. I love my Savior so much. He is my best friend. And I know that he knows us all by name and he loves us infinitely.
Mission Adventures!
FRIENDS FROM HOME AT THE MTC!
I CANT FIND OUR CUTE ONE WHERE WE ACTUALLY WERE READY! ;)
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
MOTHERS DAAAY.
When I was growing up each mothers day we would make my mom breakfast, my dad always made it clear that mothers day was a special day to honor my mommy. Years passed and My brothers went on missions and the highlight of mothers day was that those brothers would get to call home and talk to us! WELL, the tables have turned and I am now the missionary and they are all awaiting that mommas day call. It's more than just a phone call, it's more than being able to speak with my family, it's about telling my mom that she is special to me.
It wasn't until being away from home, only being able to contact my family once a week through emails and letters that I truly realized more fully what mothers do for us. Warm home cooked meals on the table, clean kitchens and the constant sound of a running vacuum in my house, a home of love, a home of peace, a home of warm smiles and comfort.. Always a place where peace could be found. I now find myself in a semi scattered missionaries apartment, microwave meals traveling from the freezer to my stomach, and the anxiously awaited emails of encouragement from mom. The apartment is cozy the spirit is there, but just one thing is missing, and that is my mom.
My mom was always such an amazing example to me growing up of what a woman should be. A woman of virtue, and woman of patience, a women of integrity and a woman I could trust. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up, but there was always one that I knew that I could count on and that was my mom. Returning home after a hard day at school my moms loving arms were always there reassuring me of my worth, building my confidence and a foundation of trust, love and hope. I was different than other kids growing up, hyper active, rambunctious, and the imagination that could go for days. All because my mom taught me to be who I am, that god created me and he wanted me to be this way for a reason, that I am no less or more than anyone else, but that I am me and that's all that matters.
My mom and dad were and still are always amazing examples or hard work and faith. Trial after trial and they never give up, they never lose hope, and they always wear a smile. My mom always made a strong impact on the importance of prayer. We always prayed together as a family before each meal, each morning, and each night before bed. At a young age because of my loving parents I ALWAYS knew I could rely on prayer, when life wasn't making sense, when I lost my favorite toy, when I had a test, or just because I wanted to talk to my Heavenly Father I knew that he would hear me. I am so thankful for her example in faith and patience. I wasn't always easy, I am quite hard headed and stubborn at times but my mom would always talk it out with me and we could find ways to compromise. She taught me the importance of love with out end. I would push her to her limits more so in my young adult years that I am in now, and no matter what she would do her best to guide me in the ways she knew would benefit my future most.
My mom is a beautiful example of charity. Her desires to serve others, to lift others up and to love with out judgement is amazing. Our home was a home of refuge for all people from every walk of life. my mom taught me the importance to look within ones heart not upon ones appearance.
My mom is the reason I am serving a mission, she taught me the importance of always following God no matter how difficult the choice may be, she taught me to pray and to act of what ever the answer may be. She is my best support and my number one fan, there cheering for me each step of the way, pushing me through times that I want to give up, standing at my finish line she is always there for me waiting for me to make it through.
I hope that one day I can be half the mommy that she is. She is one of a kind, and such a grand example to me of how I want to be some day.
My mommy is wise, my mommmy is patient, my mom is kind, she is loving, my mom is the best.
I am so grateful for my mom. She has been my best friend when all others sources left me, the one to make me laugh when my world seemed shattered, the one to never keep a secret, to never harm, and to always protect me. As i have gotten older i see why i chose her to be my mom, God placed me in her arms for a very great reason and I know that she was supposed to be my mom. In this life, and the next. I am grateful for this gospel in knowing that families are forever.
I LOVE YOU MAAA! happy mothers day :)
GIFTS.
THIS TALK CHANGED MY LIFE:
http://www.lds.org/ensign/2002/02/gifts-of-the-spirit?lang=eng
"The world needs people who can keep their word, who have a code of honor, and who can finish a task and endure to the end.
As Latter-day Saints, we need not look like the world. We need not entertain like the world. Our personal habits should be different. Our recreation should be different. Our concern for family will be different. As we establish this distinctiveness firmly in our life’s pattern, the blessings of heaven await to assist us."
-Elder Robert D Hales
We all have gifts, not wordly gifts, but spiritual gifts, talents from the heart and soul. When I was younger I had friends who could dance, who could play piano, who could sing, draw, read, write, work with numbers, all things that I struggled with that I didn't feel that I was good at. As a young girl this would get me discouraged I would often ask my mom why I couldn't do those things or why I didn't have any talents. But my mom would always reassure me with "you are a good friend to people, that is a talent, you are kind, you make people smile, you are genuine, you are you" and As a kid those all seemed like funny things to be considered a talent. I was always discouraged about not having something to show for what I was good at, I couldn't put in hours of musical practice and recite beautiful songs, I hated to read, and numbers made my head spin, Rhythm... I am lacking. I wanted a talent I could share and show people. As all talents are unique and special, we all have them, musical, intellectual, and my newly found spiritual. ALL OF WHICH CHANGE THE WORLD.
BUT the one I want to expand on is those which are spiritual. God gave us ALL spiritual gifts, each are unique to who we are. Each soul has great worth to God. He desires for each of us to strive to become like him, so he gives us these gifts. For some it is natural to have the gift of charity, others it is knowing right from wrong, or having unshakeable faith in knowing that Jesus is the Lord and the Redeemer of the world. All people are diverse and each gift is needed. How do we know which gifts we hold in our hearts? how do we know how to develop these gifts? It is the same as any other talent or gift. We must study it out, ask god, and practice, you want to have the gift of charity, pray with whole heart and in sincere intent then act.
Spiritual talents like any other talent will fade if we dont use them. God gives us talents and gifts so that we can benefit man kind, to enlighten the world. It is so important that we share these divine christ like attriubutes and qualities to help uplift and brighten the day of others. To assist in bringing others to christ and simply making the world a better place, when we hide our talents when we don't use them, they fade. These talents are a gift from God that he expects us to use and develop each day, when we don't do so we lose those abilities.
Let your light shine, don't be afraid of who you are.
My biggest struggle as a missionary is being a visitor center sister. I am terrified of speaking infront of large groups, at the centers we often get tours that are pretty large in size. My first few weeks here The thought of giving a tour made me want to throw up. I would be in a tizzy, sweaty palms, shakey knees and a loss for words. I would pass on all opportunities telling other sisters they could take it, but when it finally came down to just me I had to go, I gave it to heavenly father. I told him of the anxieties of my heart, i told him my fears, and i asked him for help. God call me to a visitor center for a reason and I was NOT living up to what i expected. So I went for it. I have my tour and I know that when I did so, when I stepped out of my comfort zone my father in heaven was proud of me. He helped me through each step. At times our spiritual gifts might be hidden beneath fears, because satan wants to distract us, he wants to keep us from reaching our greatest potential, he wants those talents to be hidden so we wont be able to reach others. In those moments it's important to just push through. Fight for what we deserve and don't let him win. Rely on god and he will show you what He expects, ask, receive, and act. You never know who's life you will impact :)
15 Neither do men light a acandle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
16 Let your alight so shine before men, that they may see your good bworks, and cglorify your Father which is in heaven. "
Matthew 5:14-16
LIVING IN LIMITS
Serving in the Rochester New York Mission is incredible, I feel so blessed to be at the historical church sites here in Palmyra New York area. How many get to walk these sacred ground each day? Or to spend so much time in the sacred grove!! We also get to meet so many wonderful people working here at the sites.
A friendship I will cherish forever after my mission is with the grove keeper Bob. Hes is amazing. A group of us had the privilege of going on a tour of the grove with him a few days ago and he showed us some amazing things. But one of my most favorite things we did during the tour was learning how to save plants. :) These little plants grow on the floor of the grove but the grove floor is also covered in dead leaves, which causes some problems for these new growths, at times these new plants will grow up through a dead leaf and it causes the new plant to not be able to blossom, mean while all the surrounding plants are opening and blooming into beautiful creations
Bob pointed out how frustrating it must be to be confined like this, what Bob does with these is he find these and he breaks the dead leaves off so the new one can bloom, he likened that to our work as missionaries, we find people who haven't yet found the truth and we help break them free of their past lives and help them find direction so that the can further find happiness and live up to their potential in life, often times we find people who are so restricted by their pasts they don't know how to be happy or how much they are capable of in their lives. He said that we have to search hard to find these people as we also had to do to find these leaves. often times one would be right under us and we wouldn't see it until Bob would point it out. How often we go through our lives hoping to make a change, to better another life, and to make an impact on the world, we search so hard for these opportunities expecting to find something huge, but it is right under us something so simple that will bring forth great results and we over look them unknowingly.. As he was talking about this I also realized that in times in my life I have been this leaf. I have set limitations on myself and i stop my self from progressing because of fears, self doubts, and my own self created weaknesses. a scripture i love from the book of mormon is ether 12:27 27
And if men come unto me I will show unto them theiraweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them.
The only one who truly knows our weaknesses is our Savior Jesus Christ, and the only time we will know what those are is if we go to him in humility and ask him how we can make them strengths, after doing so the savior will help us through, he will help change those weaknesses into strengths.
Through the saviors atonement, grace and mercy we are able to break through the bonds of weakness we put upon our selves, he will show us our potential and then we are truly able to live, to open up and to become who we are truly meant to be. I am so thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ, for his sacrifice so that I can truly live and grow to become my best self. with out him I would be nothing but through him I can become everything. I know that he lives, I know that he loves us, I know with all that I am that he will break us free of our bonds, whether it be from sin, temptation, heart ache, fears, doubts... no matter what our bonds may be through the savior jesus christ they can be broken, we can stretch out at last, we can grow, and we can become the women and men he needs/intended for us to be.
A friendship I will cherish forever after my mission is with the grove keeper Bob. Hes is amazing. A group of us had the privilege of going on a tour of the grove with him a few days ago and he showed us some amazing things. But one of my most favorite things we did during the tour was learning how to save plants. :) These little plants grow on the floor of the grove but the grove floor is also covered in dead leaves, which causes some problems for these new growths, at times these new plants will grow up through a dead leaf and it causes the new plant to not be able to blossom, mean while all the surrounding plants are opening and blooming into beautiful creations
And if men come unto me I will show unto them theiraweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them.
The only one who truly knows our weaknesses is our Savior Jesus Christ, and the only time we will know what those are is if we go to him in humility and ask him how we can make them strengths, after doing so the savior will help us through, he will help change those weaknesses into strengths.
Through the saviors atonement, grace and mercy we are able to break through the bonds of weakness we put upon our selves, he will show us our potential and then we are truly able to live, to open up and to become who we are truly meant to be. I am so thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ, for his sacrifice so that I can truly live and grow to become my best self. with out him I would be nothing but through him I can become everything. I know that he lives, I know that he loves us, I know with all that I am that he will break us free of our bonds, whether it be from sin, temptation, heart ache, fears, doubts... no matter what our bonds may be through the savior jesus christ they can be broken, we can stretch out at last, we can grow, and we can become the women and men he needs/intended for us to be.
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