TAKE MY SON.

I had a very neat experience. just 4 maybe 5 weeks into my mission. I wasn't being fully focused on my mission. I had been praying to my father in heaven telling him that I wanted to be as focused as possible but I was being very conditional with what I was willing to give so that I could gain that focus. I finally told my father in heaven I was willing to give him everything.
 The next day i received a letter.. With the four words that changed my life forever... "I don't want you" the four hardest words a 21 year old woman could read. At the time, I was crushed. Moments after reading I went into the bathroom (the only place a missionary can find privacy away from her companion) and I prayed, I opened my heart to my father in heaven I gave him my all. I asked him why a young man wouldn't want me, I begged my father in heaven to take my heart so that I wouldn't have to feel what I was feeling. As I pleaded with him I was over whelmed with these next words

"Yes, He may not want you at this time, But take my son, take my son, give him your heart, a man you can trust to never break it, give it to him and he will teach you to love, take my son and feed my sheep, then we will make wonders of you"

 At this time I am grateful for those words, I know they came because this is our time to give our love and our service to the lord. It is our time to serve the Lord with all that we have nothing holding back. I know they came from this man because he had an eye for the bigger picture and he too knew he needed to give all that he has to the Lord in his mission.

Often times I find myself being conditional with the lord. "I will give you THIS this... and maybeee... well no I wont give you this... but I WILL give you that..." Not always does he want THAT....

It didn't hit me until I was in a class at the Provo Missionary training center that I was being selfish, conditional, and not giving my Lord my all. My teacher one day asked me

"Hermana Carlson, WHAT would YOU give, what would you sacrifice to show your savior Jesus Christ you love him"

I thought for a moment. I answered... "well everything" but in my heart I was thinking.. could I truly give everything away??(PATHETIC I EVEN HAD TO THINK TWICE)

THAT is when it hit. My savior Jesus Christ gave his life so that me, this selfish, imperfect being could have mine. Why on earth would I ever even need to ponder this question. OF COURSE I would give everything to show him I love him.

 As I prayed and told my father in heaven I would give what it takes to be the missionary he needs, I knew that it was going to be hard, I knew that it was going to be a great sacrifice, but if giving him my whole heart not holding back was what he needed then that is what I would give. Being on a mission, away from home, away from my comfort zone, away from those I love, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, But I do know it will be worth it. To give all of that for a short 18 months so others can have that for eternity. MORE THAN WORTH IT.

Our Savior Jesus Christ gives us life through his death, Our father in heaven grants us daily breath.

What would you give to show him you love him?