REFLECTIONS

 I love Disney movies, they always seem to relate to real life, each story the characters are on life quests to find who they are, one of my all time favorites is "Lion King" In the beginning all simba can dream of is becoming King and ruling the other animals. As a typical kid he gets himself into trouble quite often, but his dad Mufasa is always there to save him. Until one day Scar Mufasa dark brother plots to steal the kingdom and become king. He goes to the extreme of taking his own brothers life then blames Simba for the tragedy, he tells Simba to run away and to never return.

 Simba runs away and he meets his new family Timone and Pumba, there he lives "happily" they live the life of parties and hakuna matatas, or what would be similar to yolo ;) Simba spends his teen years running from his past, until Nala finds him and tells him of what Scar is doing to Pride Rock. Simba is in awe and Nala encourages him to come back, Simba explains to Nala that he cant return and she wouldn't understand why. Nala leaves disappointed in her child hood friend.

 Simba is then discouraged and doesn't know what to do with him self. He runs to a field yelling to the sky "you said you'd always be there for me... but your not" Refiki then comes and tells Simba he knows his father, Simba tries to tell Refiki of Mufasa's passing but Refiki tells Simba Mufasa lives and to follow him. He leads him to a lake and shows him the water and tells him to look, at first all he see's is his reflection, but Refiki tells him to look harder, and so he does. As he looks harder he sees Mufasa's reflection appear in replace of his own. Right after this Mufasa appears in the clouds. he says to simba "you've forgotten me" Simba denies and Mufasa replies "You've forgotten who you are and so forgotten me, you are more than you've become you must take your place in the great circle of life, Remember who you are, You are the one true king. Remember who you are, remember" as mufasa fades away simba chases him yelling for him to come back and not leave him. Refiki then finds him in the field and asks what he is going to do. Simba says "I need to go back, i need to change, but it wont be easy" then refiki "yess the past can hurt but you either learn from it or run from it. Then he hits Simba on the head and simba says "ow what was that for" then refiki says "it does not matter it's in the past" and swings to hit Simba again but he dodges it. After this Simba runs back to pride rock to take back what was his by birth right. To fight against scar to regain his place in the kingdom.

 In our lives we all have Scars(Satan) who try to tell us our past is to much we can't ever come back, that we aren't good enough to pray and speak to god, to scare us away from our birthright from our place in gods kingdom. But we also have our holy ghost(refiki) to help guide us back when we have made those mistakes, and it is so important to keep god(musafa) in our reflections, to remember that we are created from god, we are gods image and he lives within us. No sin, no mistake, no past is to far gone. As simba felt we feel alone at times. We feel like god has forgotten us, even the savior in his atonement asked "Father why hast thou forsaken me" But the God has not forgotten neither has our savior Jesus christ, he has us engraved on his palms, it would be impossible for him to forget, he knows our every pain, he knows each trial, each joy, he knows us better than we know ourselves. He loves us and he wants us to rely on him so that we can return to our father in heavens kingdom, so that we can be made pure for that day through him. Don't ever feel like you need to run away, you can always return, you can always be made clean. It's only a prayer away. He has not forgotten you, nor will he ever, he hears your prayers and he loves you, an imperfect person, perfectly. You are a child of God and he loves you infinitely

" 14 But, behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me—but he will show that he hath not.

 15 For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.

 16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.''

1 Nephi 21(The Book Of Mormon.

Flying kites!

 As a missionary we get one day a week to have free time and prepare for the next week, to shop, write letters, email home, clean etc...

 A few weeks ago we had the opportunity to fly kites! I hadn't flown a kite in YEARS! Surprisingly enough it was quite easy to pick back up on. As I was flying my kite I realized how much keeping the kite in the air is like life.

 First you have to wait for the wind and once you catch the breeze you have your kite in the air, while the kite was in the air I quickly found that when I would let the string loose my kite would drop rapidly, but when I kept the string tight the kite would stay above high in the sky, I would get distracted and not pay attention to the changing wind and couldn't pull in the slack quick enough and my kite would drop, so as I was flying I slowly learned to pick up on the changing winds to keep my kite a float. Then you have other kites to watch for, trees, and other obstacles. Always having to be cautious of flying your kite in safe territory.

  In life we have moments we catch the breeze, we fly high and we rely on god, and we keep that string tight. In those times truly striving to be your best self. But the winds change, we make choices that aren't always in rhythm with living to gods words, and we don't realize the winds have changed, causing slack in the string, we think we have things in control, we think that we are okay and we become complacent with where we are at and we stop paying attention to the signs, we become distracted and often fall. The drop can happen quickly, and often times we don't even realize it until it feels like it is to late. We find our selves wrapped up in branches, or others kite strings and bring others down with us. We find our selves in situations that we'd never imagine, places where we feel so tangled that all hope feels lost, don't lose hope, it is not lost.

  Fortunately for us, if we will allow, the savior will fly our kite, he will keep us clear from the distractions of life, he will help us to avoid being tangled in wrong choices, and when we find ourselves lost dropping quickly, or caught up in bad decisions the savior is there to rescue us, to set us free again, he will lift the burdens of sin lighter than ever to catch the breeze and take off again. It is so important to always keep that string tight, to let the savior be the one holding you firm, be patient and always watching and feeling closely to the change of winds so that you can adapt accordingly. In those moments you feel tangled and lost, remember to rely on the saviors sacrifice, you can come back and all is not lost. We have the open sky to grow and become amazing individuals as we rely on the savior and trust in his plan for us. At times it doesn't make sense but if we do our best to follow him in faith, in trust and in hope we will return to live with god again, and until then we will live a life of happiness in joy, and in peace, even in times of trials and hardships, the lord will be the wind to guide us through.

-Gordon B. Hinckley-

You are enough :)

 As you may or may not know I am a missionary, for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. I am serving in the New York Rochester mission, in addition to that I am a visitor center missionary at the Hill Cumorah Visitor Center, where it all began.
 I was taking a family around the Joseph Smith Farm not to long ago, and as we were in the Log home I was pondering about Joseph Smith and everything that led up to him, new found freedom of religion, sooo many different churches, and how confused the world truly must have been at that time. I pondered for a minute how that would have been to be living in those times that the truth could not be found, how empty would life feel to not know the greater purposes of living with God after this mortal life on earth, or fearing whether or not my soul could truly be saved. As I was thinking about this I thought of the scriptures, particularly a few verses from the bible, The scripture that changed Joseph Smiths world, the one that truly led to him seeking the desires of his soul, the scripture that led to him asking god

" 5 ^aIf any of you lack ^bwisdom, let him ask of God, that ^cgiveth to all men liberally, and ^dupbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

 6 But let him ^aask in ^bfaith, nothing ^cwavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

 7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

 8 A ^adouble minded man is unstable in all his ways"

 He was confused as to which church he should join, So as this scripture says.. He asked god. I wonder what Josephs thoughts were as he entered the grove that day. I am sure he wasn't anticipating what was about to happen. As he asked which church to join he had an amazing vision, in his own words he said "I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me... when the light rested upon me i saw two personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. one of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other. 'this is my beloved son, hear him!"
He was told that none of the churches were the true gospel of Jesus Christ and that he should join none of them, but the true gospel was to be restored.
 I know that as a 14 year old boy Joseph Smith did indeed see the father and the son and that he was called as a prophet of god to restore his true gospel here on the earth today.
 As I pondered these thoughts on the drive home, I became overwhelmed with a new sense of testimony/conversion to the truths of this vision. At the time as a 14 year old boy, I wonder, did he feel like he was adequate to be a prophet? Did he feel overwhelmed by what the Lord had asked him to do?
 I know that often times in my mission i have the moments of wondering "Am I in the right place, should I be the one teaching Of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christs gospel to this part of the world, do I know enough?"
 The answer to those questions I find myself asking if I am enough, is YES. The lord calls his people to him in their weaknesses, he doesn't ask perfect people to do that which he commands, he asks us. simple minded human beings who make mistakes. The only perfect being to ever set foot on this earth was the Son of god 2,000 years ago. God gives us weakness so that we can truly be humble and really learn to rely on him. If we were perfect and didn't make mistakes daily, we would have no need to be here. 
Ether 12:27 puts it perfectly " 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

The things that God asks each and everyone of us to do are never beyond reach, God knows the abilities of each of his children, he knows of our desires, our capacities to accomplish which tasks, and where we need to be strengthened, he will never give us a commandment save it be he provides a way. He will never tell us to do something that is beyond our reach, that will lead us to unhappiness, or hurt our future, we are his children, he wants what is ultimately best for us. Nephi always amazes me. he truly had the go an do perspective, he didn't ever doubt or question what was asked of him, his faith diligence and obedience to the lord is incredible, he knows our God doesn't give commandments, or ask us to do things and tell us why, he requires for us to act in faith, and in love for him. Nephi is a true hero of mine for his go and do attitude stated especially stated in 1 Nephi chapter 3:7 (from the book of mormon)"  7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I ^awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no ^bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall ^cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." 

  I know that God is our loving heavenly father and that Jesus Christs gospel has been restored through the prophet Joseph smith and that Thomas s monson is the prophet today. I know that Jesus Christ is my lord, my savior, and the very reason of my existence. With out him we are nothing but through him, we are everything, through him we can return to live in Gods presence, we can be with our families forever, because of this gospel i have such a brighter hope for the future and for things to come, in knowing that, even though times are rough, they always pass, but because of Jesus Christ we don't have to just wait for them to pass, by his guiding influence those hard times can be enjoyed and he will guide us through with a newly added strength that can not be found on our own. I love this gospel with all that I am and I know with all of my heart that it is the true restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

and i say that in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Dont Freak Out.

In John Chapter 4 it is one of my favorite stories. The woman at the well.
Iwould like to just share a little bit of that and why i love it so much :)

"10 Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the ^agift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee ^bliving water.

 11 The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water?

 12 Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle?

 13 Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:

 14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never ^athirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water ^bspringing up into ^ceverlasting life.

 15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw."

Often in my life I find myself drowning when trials appear. I look for the light at the end of the tunnel, rather than just enjoying the storm and learning to dance in the rain. I feel like as humans we can get caught up looking at what is hard, what is not going our way, and what we want rather than what we have.

The light isn't at the end of the tunnel, we must remember that the savior is the light, the light that is simply guiding us through the tunnel. As the savior says in verse 13, "Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 14 BUT whosoever drinketh of the water that i shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that i shall give him shall be a well of water springing up into everlasting life"

If we remember to lean on the savior, to feast upon his words, to truly desire to follow the commandments, to pray and really give our all to the lord he will help us through. we will never feel that we are alone, we will never feel that we are forgotten. The Savior Jesus Christ is here for us. each day of our lives. He promises to be with us always. All we must do is live worthily, and ask.
I was a nanny before my mission and at times when things weren't going the adorable one year old boys way, he would throw the cutest fits, at times a toy would be stuck, or something so simple was frustrating him, something that he would need help from me or his mom, but his fit was so cute at times we'd have to giggle at him for a moment to see if he could get through it on his own, we would finally make our way calmly over to him to rescue him from what seemed like the end of his world.
 We are too like this little helpless child. When life isn't going our way, we throw fits, we freak out, we lose our cool and we forget that all we need to do is ask god. I wonder if while he watches me throw these fits he chuckles to himself "oh child, if only you knew how simple the solution was..." nevertheless, the moment I ask he calmly makes his way to me, and comforts me, he guides me back to where i need to be, full of love and mercy, no matter how lost i may be. he always leads me back.

i love this scripture:

10 Be thou ^ahumble; and the Lord thy God shall ^blead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.

 11 I know thy heart, and have heard thy prayers concerning thy brethren.

D&C 112 

he promises that if we are humble, and pray god will take us by our hand and guide us. he will lead us through the moments that we can not make it through on our own, those moments we throw our hands up in the air ready to give it all up, he is there for us, and we are never alone. :)

TAKE MY SON.

I had a very neat experience. just 4 maybe 5 weeks into my mission. I wasn't being fully focused on my mission. I had been praying to my father in heaven telling him that I wanted to be as focused as possible but I was being very conditional with what I was willing to give so that I could gain that focus. I finally told my father in heaven I was willing to give him everything.
 The next day i received a letter.. With the four words that changed my life forever... "I don't want you" the four hardest words a 21 year old woman could read. At the time, I was crushed. Moments after reading I went into the bathroom (the only place a missionary can find privacy away from her companion) and I prayed, I opened my heart to my father in heaven I gave him my all. I asked him why a young man wouldn't want me, I begged my father in heaven to take my heart so that I wouldn't have to feel what I was feeling. As I pleaded with him I was over whelmed with these next words

"Yes, He may not want you at this time, But take my son, take my son, give him your heart, a man you can trust to never break it, give it to him and he will teach you to love, take my son and feed my sheep, then we will make wonders of you"

 At this time I am grateful for those words, I know they came because this is our time to give our love and our service to the lord. It is our time to serve the Lord with all that we have nothing holding back. I know they came from this man because he had an eye for the bigger picture and he too knew he needed to give all that he has to the Lord in his mission.

Often times I find myself being conditional with the lord. "I will give you THIS this... and maybeee... well no I wont give you this... but I WILL give you that..." Not always does he want THAT....

It didn't hit me until I was in a class at the Provo Missionary training center that I was being selfish, conditional, and not giving my Lord my all. My teacher one day asked me

"Hermana Carlson, WHAT would YOU give, what would you sacrifice to show your savior Jesus Christ you love him"

I thought for a moment. I answered... "well everything" but in my heart I was thinking.. could I truly give everything away??(PATHETIC I EVEN HAD TO THINK TWICE)

THAT is when it hit. My savior Jesus Christ gave his life so that me, this selfish, imperfect being could have mine. Why on earth would I ever even need to ponder this question. OF COURSE I would give everything to show him I love him.

 As I prayed and told my father in heaven I would give what it takes to be the missionary he needs, I knew that it was going to be hard, I knew that it was going to be a great sacrifice, but if giving him my whole heart not holding back was what he needed then that is what I would give. Being on a mission, away from home, away from my comfort zone, away from those I love, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, But I do know it will be worth it. To give all of that for a short 18 months so others can have that for eternity. MORE THAN WORTH IT.

Our Savior Jesus Christ gives us life through his death, Our father in heaven grants us daily breath.

What would you give to show him you love him?