Believing Christ

 "16 Moreover, thou son of man, take thee one stick, and write upon it, For Judah, and for the children of Israel his companions: then take another stick, and write upon it, For Joseph, the stick of Ephraim, and for all the house of Israel his companions:

 17 And join them one to another into one stick; and they shall become one in thine hand."

Ezekiel 37

The stick of Judah    and    the stick of Joseph 

"shall become one in thine hand"

 

I would like to explain today, how these two books have greatly impacted my life as they have become one in my hands. 

When I was 18 turning 19 I read the book of Mormon through fully for the first time ever. It was an experience I will remember for ever. It wasn't a glorious experience. It was actually very simple. I can still remember some very key words and sentences that opened my heart to ask and to receive a witness that this book is true. 

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

my heart was pierced by something new, something that felt familiar. It was warmth, it was comfort, it was peace. 

As I read these few verses tears slipped slowly from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks as I felt the powerful confirming witness that these words were true. 

After that I set aside the book, it was kind of like "cool, I read it through in through. Now I don't have to read it for a while." That warmth I felt faded and once in a while I would read a verse here and there, but nothing to keep my faith growing. 

A few years passed and I picked it up again, a friend had challenged me to read it in 2 months. However, I am a slow reader and it took me six. As I read it, I focused on the God head and the atonement. My life was changing. I was learning to apply the teachings. A few months into my mission I finished it. My heart again, was filled with warmth. and a smile was on my face. Only this time, it was different. I didn't set the book aside and move on, I continued studying from it. By topic. By chapter, here a verse there a verse. 

Then I realized after having a lot of bible questions asked that I couldn't answer that I was only educated in one stick. That I needed to further my knowledge I began to read the New testament from the beginning. I am still reading it. ALMOST FINISHED! As I read and study from the Bible... I see the reality of Jesus Christ, I gain a witness of his ability to heal, to strengthen, and to forgive. It shows me that I can be healed. That I can arise and walk even if I feel like I can't. 

The book of Mormon as I read them side by side through in through, has become the how, the application. I know Christ can do these things, He did this for the people of old... But how does he do this for me personally, here and now? 

How do I continually access his power? How can I be made whole each day? How can I personally be forgiven? I make a lot of mistakes... How can I BE WORTHY TO LIVE WITH GOD FOR EVER?? I alone will never be worthy. None of us will. Except if we repent daily, sincere true repentance. We must accept Christ accept that he is and that he has the power to forgive. It is so important that we humble ourselves and continually REPENT. In the book of Mormon many people become prideful, caught up in vain ambitions, and sins of the world, they cut them selves off and distance themselves from God. How often do I do these things!? More often than I would like to admit. They become a wicked people as they stop following God. They worship worldly material and lose sight of God. Then they are compelled and brought to humility time and time again. Through the atonement they are forgiven and given opportunity after opportunity to make things right. To return to God and to change.

 

This blog was inspired by a meeting we had a few days ago where we were asked "How does the book of Mormon help your testimony of Jesus Christ?"

 

I reflected on that question for a full day. At first I was frustrated. I knew it had helped but I couldn't think specifically.. how.

So I started to think of stories from both the Bible and the book of Mormon.  I thought of some stories from the bible first. One in particular. The one where Christ heals a man on the sabbath.      

This man waited 38 years to be healed. He truly was seeking for that help in his life. He watched as many people enter the waters to be made whole as he couldn't get him self there on his own he had to continue in waiting for divine help. I pictured myself in this story, as I anxiously await the Saviors healing power in my life. So many times in the Bible you hear "thy faith hath made thee whole"... "Arise, take up thy bed and walk"... "Be thou whole.." "Thy sins are forgiven thee" so on and so forth... At times I feel like this poor man. Just waiting to be made whole. I pictured myself sitting at the Saviors feet as He kindly crouched down asking what I was at the pool for. He asked if I had the faith to be made whole. OF COURSE! PLEASE HEAL ME. I pictured him saying "I will not that thou should be made whole, however, rise, take up thy bed and I will help you to carry it" He doesn't always remove the pain or the rough patch, and I often wonder why? As I have asked many times the why of my situations I always feel I need to be more patient or I need to try harder. This time as I asked the "why" I felt something different. I have been told this story of Saul who becomes Paul before, it became an answer to my prayers:

"7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

 It's not always the right timing. Or the will of God to make us whole. This has been a rough trial for me knowing that I could become perfectly healthy at any given moment. BUT WHEN, or will it ever happen?" 2 Corinthians 12

(Our thorns in the flesh)

The thorn could be removed from me, however, this pain this thorn of mine has become a constant reminder to always receive strength from Christ, it has taught me to remain close to him, to keep him with me always. Each morning and through out the day as I pray for strength I am fully putting my trust in the lord that he will get me through the day. Through these prayers i remember the Savior constantly and I am given the strength I need. That is why at times he doesn't remove our trials. It's like when he healed 10 lepers and only one returned to give thanks. Often times when we are healed we forget the source of healing. We forget to continually give thanks. This is his constant reminder to me that he is here.

I then flashed to a book of Mormon story or two. I thought about the prophet nephi and how hard his life was. His own brothers continually turned on him and sought for his destruction. Nephi never lost hope there was a few verses that jumped out of my memory, a time when Nephi was left bound in the wilderness to be devoured by beasts.

"17 But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound."

 

He prayed for the strength and then he acted, he fought his way from the cords. He broke free. Because he pleaded with the lord that he might receive strength.

 

Then I pictured this same family as they were lead across the great sea the Americas or "The Promised land" (1 Nephi 17 - 1 Nephi 18 ) They were lead by the hand of God to a new place and new home where they would be free.

 

I flashed again to another story. Of a a man named Alma, as he is teaching people the way of a new life a life centered on God, him and his people are cast into prison for believing in God and their trials are great, however. Again, they rely on the Atonement and they pray. They pray for help to escape these terrible situations and this is their answer:

 

"14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

 15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their ^bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

 16 And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage."

Mosiah 24

 

Again the Lord is giving them the strength they need to be made free. To over come the obstacles of life.

 

So how has this helped me?

 

I know that when I pray for guidance, if I pick up the book of Mormon or the Bible I can receive an answer as I read in the pages stories of people who received much strength through the Lord, I read of people who were healed and I read of people who weren't healed but that were given great help, I know that it is possible for me. If I do my part I will receive divine help.

 

 7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

1 Nephi 3

 

I know that when I read from the book of Mormon Heavenly Father can communicate with me with the words of each story, I know that these aren't just made up stories, but the records of a people who knew and understood Christ, of a people who anxiously awaited his coming in their lives. It has taught me to look to Christ in all that I pass through.

 

Some times we don't understand why we are asked to do something, especially when that something doesn't work out the way we wished or would have liked, some times we do things that don't make any sense, but we know God is asking it of us. I know a lot of my life I am just following His answers and hoping for the best, knowing that God would never lead me a stray. I know that He can lead us all to our promised land, our land of safety and refuge from the storms of life.

 

 6 And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.

1 Nephi 4

 

We first must trust, and then act.

 

 He can calm our seas when they are to rough to find our way on our own. I have learned through the things I have read in the book of Mormon, I have learned to apply what I read, to take it into my heart and to live it. As I have done so the Atonement has changed me. To be a woman of happiness. A woman of virtue. A woman who is patient, slow to anger. It has shown me the reality of Jesus Christ. It has taught me of my divine worth. That God loves ALL of his children.

 

The book of Mormon is centered on Christ, helping me to make him the center of my life. He is my help, my strength, the one who rescues when I feel there is no hope. He is the one that listens when I am up, He is the one who listens when I am down. He is there in the good, he is there in the bad. HE IS ALWAYS THERE. Always loving and always lending his hand to lift us, to help us arise, to pick up our beds and to carry them with us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stand fast in the faith of christ.

  

"Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble."

Mosiah 28:3

Sharing the gospel can be scary... So how does one go about teaching every one!? How do I be bold and tell all about the glorious gospel message that has been restored???

Believe it or not I can be shy. My whole life I was taught to never speak to strangers. Then I come on a mission and that's what we do ALL DAY! Talk to strangers, open your mouth and proclaim the truth to all! Suddenly, I am realizing.. sharing the gospel with my friends at home would have been a lot easier. haha!

"19 But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.
 
20 For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you."
Matthew 10

21 Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men."
Doctrine and Covenants 11

 Although it is never easy to share the glad message of our Savior Jesus Christs church and His true doctrine, it is worth it.

 "85 Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man"
Doctrine and covenants 84

If you are doing all you can to study and to understand the scriptures, the Gospel principles, the life of our Savior, the will and commandments of God he will provide the words he needs you to speak. The holy ghost can not draw from empty wells. We must fill our hearts and minds with the "words of life continually" If we are always thinking about how the Gospel has blessed and changed our lives, and studying we become mighty instruments that the lord can call upon in a time one of his children are in need.

after we do these things studying, go about doing good and pray for opportunities to teach we HAVE to open our mouths. THE SCARY PART I KNOW. 

What is the worst that could happen? They are either going to say yes and be eternally happy... Or deny the greatest gift that could have ever been given.

"18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
 
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
 
20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
 
21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name’s sake, because they know not him that sent me."
John 15

9 Say nothing but repentance unto this generation; keep my commandments, and assist to bring forth my work, according to my commandments, and you shall be blessed.

29 Verily, verily, I say unto you, if they reject my words, and this part of my gospel and ministry, blessed are ye, for they can do no more unto you than unto me.
 
30 And even if they do unto you even as they have done unto me, blessed are ye, for you shall dwell with me in glory.
 
31 But if they reject not my words, which shall be established by the testimony which shall be given, blessed are they, and then shall ye have joy in the fruit of your labors.
 
32 Verily, verily, I say unto you, as I said unto my disciples, where two or three are gathered together in my name, as touching one thing, behold, there will I be in the midst of them—even so am I in the midst of you.
 
33 Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward.
 
34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.
Doctrine and Covenants 6

Sis Dimick and I have had a few rough weeks in a row, where nothing we do is working out. Everything we attempt falls through. Which... Seems to be a common pattern for a missionaries life. You go through phases where you are so busy you don't know what to do, and phases where you are doing your best to keep productive and talk to all you meet. So, a while back during companion study we were reading in the book of mormon. and we came across this scripture:

"29 And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills; and we have also entered into their temples and their synagogues and taught them; and we have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been stoned, and taken and bound with strong cords, and cast into prison; and through the power and wisdom of God we have been delivered again."
Alma 26:29

 I laughed and said hey! we have been in their homes, and they accepted us! we have talked to people in the streets, they heard us out, we can't go into their temples... so that doesn't count.... we have been cast out of peoples front porches, yards, and all that.. how ever.. we have not been spit upon, we have not been smacked, and we have not been bound in prison.. So if we look at it that way.. these few weeks have been pretty easy!!

haha I spoke to soon...

Last Friday we were going to see this adorable older woman we have been meeting with and she must have forgotten about our lesson and wasn't home. So as we were walking back to our car we did our best to talk with everyone. I approached this man.. or boy.. about 18.. "HELLO! :) How are you doing today" With head phones in his ear he completely disregarded my existence.. or so i thought... when all the sudden.. he is making that really nasty noise.. that really gross noise that comes from the back of ones throat. you know the one I am talking about and then... HE SPITS!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh in that moment... I didn't know whether or not I should laugh. or cry and run away. haha. Old sister carlson probably would have grabbed him by his shirt collar and said "LISTEN HERE PUNK... I AM GOING TO SHARE A MESSAGE ABOUT JESUS CHRIST WITH YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN. AND THEN YOU CAN SPIT ON ME." That scenario flashed through my mind in an instant, then complete and utter discouragement and sorrow, then I was over come with a sense of a broken heart, If only he knew.. If only he would have given me a moment. To hear me out. Whatever was causing his anger that day to be driven to act in such a way could have been relieved in knowing that He isn't alone. That if he endures these times that seem so un barable, if he could take Jesus Christ by the hand.. These things would have not seemed so horrible. His life could have been forever changed. Yes his trials would still be there. But there would have been a whole new prospective on how to endure. My heart was filled with compassion, sorrow and love.

I have reflected back to this moment a lot since it occurred. My wish is that I could have helped him to see there is more to life. My wish is that I could have testified to him of the atonement, the enabling power that comes through the atonement and the divinity and worth of his soul.

Not every one wants to hear what we believe all the time. At times we will be rejected harshly, kindly or anything in between.

But when we do find those souls who have been searching those bad days no longer matter. Those moments where our souls are pained with sadness as you watch a random stranger in such a broken world that they have no clue who to peace it back together, those days become worth it when that stranger becomes one of your closest friends. When that stranger becomes as family and you can see hope, faith and the love or God and Jesus Christ becoming real in their life. 

To be spit on for the sake of representing Jesus Christ becomes worth it.

A few nights ago sister dimick and I before bed were half way laughing and crying talking about how alone you are as a missionary, but that you never really feel alone because as you are rejected despised and cast out, you feel that our Savior is with us. That you can feel him pushing you along, fear not little flock... they have done this to me too. You can do this. This is for me, continue on in faith.

Once again my mission is teaching me valuable life experiences and providing strength for future and past trials.

You are never alone if you walk daily with Christ.

"those who died in the faith of Christ are happy in him"
Alma 46

 Id like to flip that scripture a little and say, "Those who live in faith of Jesus Christ are happy in him"

I emailed my brother Jordan yesterday asking for advice. He was like one of the greatest missionaries I know. and he said something so profound yet so simple that will help me through out all of my life. "Turtle just keep pushing. Remember for everything bad something equally good came along. Something big is about to happen. Just make sure you talk with everyone, and don't miss your chance!"

What ever storm you are in.. don't give up, don't miss your chance. Something big is about to happen.. Some times we feel like life spits in our face, and some times it is easier to be negative and discouraged and to be lost in the poor me, look how hard I am trying but I am seeing nothing of it.. Don't walk there. Don't take that path. Don't let yourself become miserable like that. "You should not, however, become discouraged; discouragement will weaken your faith."

  6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

If you are a missionary and doing your best to share the gospel and you feel no one wants to listen, remember, we can only do our best by inviting all to hear. " Your purpose as a full-time missionary is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end" We can only invite and always provide opportunities for the sons and daughters of god to accept or reject with clear prospective and knowledge.

If you are living in the day to day busy life and feel like you can never succeed you can only continue in faith. Keep putting on foot ahead of the other, keep trying, keep pushing, keep smiling. never let go, never give in, never give up. 

The Lords plan and time line for us is a lot bigger than what we can make for ourselves. Some times our plans as missionaries fall through for more solid ones to come together. Good things break so great things can be mended. Keep trusting, keep holding on, and don't lose the fire. Keep burning. in Patient perseverance.

"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."
Mosiah 24

sweet hour of prayer

 

"Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.
 I know thy heart, and have heard thy prayers"

 doctrine and covenants 112

Hello! I am sister Carlson. I over analyze the details of everything. I think too deeply into every situation and some times I freak my self out. and by sometimes... i mean.. most of the time.

 

So how does one over come this tendency to be an overly analytical nut case!?!?!?!

 It is enough to drive one mad. I over think everything and I have to talk my problems out until they are finally solved.

The scriptures council us to pray, to communicate with God in all things. Who better to discuss our life problems, worries and concerns with than heavenly father, the creator of all things, he knows us inside and out. every last detail.

36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day. Alma 37

Heavenly father doesn't only want us to pray when things aren't going as planned, he wants to hear what is good in our life too, for us to share gratitude for that which he has blessed us with. Anything that is good comes from God. He takes care of us each and every day.

 Have you ever had an amazing experience with prayer?

 I know that some times when I am trying to make a change in my life or make a huge decision that as I pray and ask the Lord for guidance he is always there to answer. A few days ago I was praying about something, a question or I guess a concern I had. I received a very specific answer and I moved on with the answer I received. A few days later, my overly thinker mind got to me and I started thinking, well maybe that wasn't an answer or maybe I made that answer up..? Have you ever done that? been confused on if it was a self made answer or heaven sent??? Once again... I OVER THINK EVERYTHING. Hahaha. So.. I prayed again. As I was praying I told heavenly father I was going to do my best to find my answer in the scriptures and that if He would please guide me to a passage that would bring me peace in knowing that I am receiving direction from Him I would forever be grateful. So I flip through some pages with my eyes closed and I pop my book open to this:

 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things."

Doctrine and covenants

 The whole section spoke to my heart, however this is one verse that really stood out to me.

 The Lord knows my heart, he knows my desires, and He wont let me make a wrong choice. He will not lead me down a path that will destroy my happiness.

 

  "6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4

 

How do you come to peace with an answer that isn't exactly... easy to act on?

 

 

"Faith is to hope for things which are not seen"

             "to have faith is to have confidence in something or someone"

"Miracles do not produce faith, but strong faith is developed by obedience"

"Faith is a principle of action and of power"

If we never act how will we know if it was right or wrong...?

 "6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." Ether 12

We are given the ability to choose, to act and to make decisions from heavenly father. How many times have you made a wrong choice!? haha.. I know that I have made.. well more than a lot. Did you learn from that wrong choice? Did it teach you to make better choices in the future? I have learned to not act on an impulse. I have learned to take thought, study it out in my heart and mind, then to take it to the lord and begin to act according to what I feel or don't feel. Most of the time I don't receive a specific answer, I think the Lord is watching me to see if I will use my experiences and knowledge from the past to better my future and to make a correct choice.

"8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right."

What if you have TWO amazing options... but you don't know which one to go with!? oh my goodness. this happens to me all the time. Not to long ago there was this awesome meeting we had as missionaries where a general authority was coming to train us! how often does that happen!? then.. on that same day some one I love that I had the opportunity to work with in a previous area was going to the temple for the first time. I asked the mission president for permission to go to the temple over this meeting. He weighed out the pros and cons of both situations and he told me both were great options so it was up to me to choose what I thought would be best for sister dimick and I. So. naturally. I prayed. I didn't really receive anything so we made the very difficult decision that we would go to the training. Which ended up being a much needed experience, i received answers of healing comfort and peace, my faith was rekindled and my heart was brim with joy.

The lord doesn't just have one specific trail that you are to follow exactly your whole life, if that were the case, we wouldn't have agency. He has a plan of happiness that involves following his commandments and his council. However we are expected to make the choices that get us there. He wants us to choose the right, to choose the options that bring us happiness, happiness is a choice. When we pray for help, especially between two good choices that he knows will ultimately bring us home, he leaves that up to us, to use our judgment and discernment to decide which one we think would be best. If we make the wrong one or pick something that really isn't going to be beneficial he will stop us before it is to late help turn us around and guide us back to something better.

often, it is neither of the two choices or three or four, which school should i go to? Maybe he needs you to re think your career or your future because he knows that something else would be better for you.

I know that as a 19 year old girl I was faced with a decision that has forever changed my life. It was one of the hardest decision I had made up to that point in my life but because I followed the council of my father in heaven my future has been forever altered in a way that I know is right.

Often times we find ourselves wandering back to the old path, the path we know or what is comfortable, but not.. not necessarily correct and as we pray we block ourselves from receiving an answer because we are scared about what we might hear. We are scared of what the future could hold. Never return to something because it is familiar. Don't stay some where because you are comfortable. Take faith and let go, let go of fear and comfort, take Christ by the hand and stretch yourself, let go and grow.
 

Believe Christ, believe that he is, believe that he will take you to new places that will forever make you a better person. Step into the unknown, take a risk, and go for it. Then trust, trust that Christ will be the light guiding you through the tunnel.

Gods laws. Not Gods options.

So my blog today.. is going to be a bit different. I have been feeling like this is a much needed post lately. So I am going to take it in a different direction today and talk about one of Gods laws. One that in these days people look at in a way that it is an option. The movies make it seem like it's something to be treated lightly, the world we live is losing values, virtue and sight of what truly matters. 

This law is the law of chastity. 
What is the law of chastity some might ask? 

"The law of chastity requires that sexual relations be reserved for marriage between a man and a woman.
In addition to reserving sexual intimacy for marriage, we obey the law of chastity by controlling our thoughts, words, and actions. Jesus Christ taught,“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:27–28)."
LDS.ORG 

This blog has been a difficult one to write. Not because I fear what people might think, but because I want to say it in a way that people can feel the importance of keeping the act sacred. It's not something that is easy to type out. I hope that as you read this you can feel the spirit of God that your hearts can be moved and that you will find your self having more respect for others and of course. YOURSELF.

"1 And now I, Nephi, cannot write all the things which were taught among my people; neither am I mighty in writing, like unto speaking; for when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men."

I want to start with thoughts, thoughts goals and action. When I want something I do my best to do what it takes to get it. As a 19 year old woman I was sharing a car with my older brother who had returned home from his mission. aka He needed the car more than I... so often times I was being carted around by my parents. One day in October of 2010 I decided.. in 6 months, I will have my own car. So I started saving, looking online going to dealerships, test driving and scoping things out with my parents. I was approaching the mark. I found the absolute most perfect Jeep liberty it was a 2003 with a lift, tinted windows and exhaust system that made my car sound more like a boat, nice off roading tires, all of that. the moment I test drove it i knew it was mine. I knew I had to have it. But I couldn't take it home just yet. I went to apply for a loan with out a cosigner just myself. I was praying with all of my heart I could be approved. I had done my part now the rest was in faith and the lords will. As we test drove this jeep my dad mentioned that he was worried the transmission might be having some complications. But that didn't matter to me! the jeep was just perfect in my eyes! I disregarded my dads advice and went through with it. I bought the jeep. I WAS NOW A CAR OWNER! I felt like a real woman of society. 

Not even a year later I was driving home from a birthday party for my friends niece and my gas pedal started getting mushy. the jeep wouldn't shift and it was starting to stutter. I though oh it's just because my gas light has been on for a while. I called my dad and he came to my rescue with a tank of gas. The jeep started back up and drove for a moment. Five minutes from my house I got mushy gas pedal again and no power. I knew instantly what was going on... It was my transmission. MANY mechanic stops later and an expensive bill my car was fixed and on the road for a few more months until I had to sale it to be able to come here on my mission. 

My goal started with a thought, I internalized that goal and I put it to action. Everything begins with thought. It is so important that we do our best to keep our thoughts pure. Pure thoughts, pure heart, clean acts. 

It's not that this wasn't a good car, it was an amazing car... however my dad knew it would have been best to keep looking. Had I listened to my dad and not been caught up in the idea that this jeep was perfect, the steering wheel fit perfectly in my hands and it was made to go to Moab... I would have avoided a bank account draining experience. I would have avoided a lot of trials that came because of the lack of car I had for quite a few months. I would have avoided the stress of being a now jobless car-less college student. I had to pay the consequence of disregarding my dads advice.

We live in a world of instant satisfaction, with texting, emailing, fast food, everything is fast, everything is ready and waiting at the push of a button. 

We need not rush into something because it feels like a perfect fit. He might be the one or if we do this our love will be forever. We love each other... it's okay.. we are going to be getting married after this anyways. When justification is needed the situation should be done with out. 

As we keep Gods laws there is protection provided. The way we look at others is altered as we are filled with Christs love. My motto is "If I wouldn't do this if Christ was here.. should I be doing this?" Would you feel comfortable to break one of Gods greatest commandments if Jesus Christ was with you? fact: God is all knowing. We can not hide our sins from him.

There is a story in the book of mormon about a man his name is Corianton . He takes this law lightly and he doesn't follow the council of His father. He ends up destroying the trust of many people and having to go through a lofty repentance process to fix that which he has broken. 

"3 And this is not all, my son. Thou didst do that which was grievous unto me; for thou didst forsake the ministry, and did go over into the land of Siron among the borders of the Lamanites, after the harlot Isabel.
4 Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. Thou shouldst have tended to the ministry wherewith thou wast entrusted.
5 Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?"

Breaking the law of chastity in Gods eyes is almost equivalent to murder! I don't know about you, but I want to live with God forever. This law is given for us to be able to live with God forever. To be comfortable and at home in his company. 

BE DIFFERENT! DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHINE. DON'T BE AFRAID TO STOP. DON'T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE. 

(This scripture can be applied to men also)

"10 ¶Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31

Today, it might seem impossible to return to virtue, to find virtue, or to be a man or woman of virtue. However, as we do our best to become virtuous creatures we will have greater trust, longer lasting relationships, better communication, and less self destructive selfish vain self glorifying relationships.

WE ARE HUMAN BODIES WITH LIVING SPIRITS CREATED BY GOD! Not objects to be acted upon. 

"14 And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon."2 NEPHI 2

My first mission president says "We are agents to act, not objects to be acted upon" 

This is true. We are to act in line with Gods commands. However... At times, the lack of ability to follow his councils on behalf of others using their ability to act can happen. We can be hurt and used in a way that we can not help or prevent. If this is the case let Jesus Christ heal you. Let him bring you to safety there is no need to feel guilty or at fault in this situation. 

We can always we repent, we can always return to Christ. My purpose of this blog is not to tell every one they are sinners or to bring up a controversially topics. It is to say, God loves us so much. He wants us to become like him. He gave us a plan, his plan of salvation or his great plan of happiness. In this plan he expects us to bring life into the world through marriage, the act of creating life is the closest we can get to being like God in this life. HOW AMAZING IS THAT! We as imperfect humans are trusted to create a human life, to raise this little human life and to bring that little soul back to Christ. 

The Family A Proclamation to the World 

Satan is sneaky, He will try to hide the temporary here and now pleasures and make you feel that it is eternal joy. He will lure you in trap you and leave you alone. Misery loves company, however, once he gets you there he doesn't stay. Happiness fades and guilt, heart ache, self doubt and frustration sinks in. 
  
"26 And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.
27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
28 And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;
29 And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom."

Like misery loves company, righteousness enjoys company. As we choose Christ, as we choose to follow Gods commands we are promised to have his spirit to be with us always. We will be surrounded by lasting friendships and gain the trust we seek. We will trust in God, ourselves and others. Self destructive tendencies will fade and be replaced with hope, charity and faith. We can return to God only through Jesus Christ. We can repent, we can heal, and we can make it home to our Father in Heaven. 

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a single, undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only between a man and a woman in the marriage relationship prescribed in God’s plan. Such relations are not merely a curiosity to be explored, an appetite to be satisfied, or a type of recreation or entertainment to be pursued selfishly. They are not a conquest to be achieved or simply an act to be performed. Rather, they are in mortality one of the ultimate expressions of our divine nature and potential and a way of strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife. We are agents blessed with moral agency and are defined by our divine heritage as children of God—and not by sexual behaviors, contemporary attitudes, or secular philosophies" Elder Bednar

"The natural man or woman is unrepentant, is carnal and sensual (see Mosiah 16:5; Alma 42:10; Moses 5:13), is indulgent and excessive, and is prideful and selfish. As President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “The ‘natural man’ is the ‘earthy man’ who has allowed rude animal passions to overshadow his spiritual inclinations” 

Return to virtue and stick to it. It wont be easy, but it will be worth it. Be the one who shines and stands out. The world needs more men and women of virtue. We have enough people running around with vain and selfish ambitions acting like something raised up in the jungle. Now is our time to act like disciples of Christ to clean up and to stay clean :) Now is your time to change to return to God and to have JOY, ever lasting eternal joy. What choice will be made? To follow God or to lose sight of the prize. It is our time to show God how much we want to live with him. To let go of the carnal mind, to take up our crosses and follow, even when we don't yet understand why, understanding will come. I know that by living this law our lives will be happier, our hearts will be filled with love and compassion. We will be less broken and we will live with God again. It is never to late to change, to turn back and to use the Atonement. Heavenly Father loves us no matter what. Christ can fix us when we are broken. Step aside and let the Atonement work. Let Christ pay the debt and live your best to be your best every day. Being women and men of God brings peace and happiness in this life and the life to come. 

I know that forgiveness is possible, don't let doubt, fear, or insecurities hold you back from growth, progression and faith.

1 Corinthians 6:19 

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Philippians 4:13

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 

ONE YEAR!

ONE YEAR AGO FEBRUARY 6 I BECAME A MISSIONARY FOR THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS. 

I had not a clue what laid ahead. I was excited, I was nervous, and ready to puke my guts out thinking about what I was about to leave behind. 

As I sold my very first car my Jeep liberty I had only had for 18 months tears soaked my face, as I packed my next 18 months into a bag and stepped away from a home I had lived in for like 15 years my heart was ready to pound it's way out of my chest. 

As I said goodbye to my dogs I felt as though my heart was being left in Utah. 
 
I cried the entire drive from Sandy City Utah to the Missionary training center in Provo. The whole car ride there my dad kept saying "You know sport it's not to late to turn around and go home..."   

Memories were flashing through my head and the thoughts of inadequacy insecurity and fear were flashing through my mind! I WAS READY TO EXPLODE. 

Then I walked through the front doors to the MTC. All my fears suddenly became less... powerful, I was over come with the joy and peace the spirit provides, as I pinned my brand new shiny black name tag to my shirt with the bright orange dot sticker on the front that just screams "HEY I AM NEW LOOK AT ME" my heart was filled with excitement, the things I left behind began to fade and my heart was filled with peace. I knew that this was going to be a time to remember, a time I would hold onto for the rest of my life. 

Today as i reflect back to this time I smile. At times, I still doubt my ability to do this, I wonder if I am working hard enough, am I talking to every one who needs this, at times I miss those promptings of the spirit and I kick my self in the butt for it. I know that as to my own strength I am nothing. My strength comes through Christ. The ability to speak when called upon, to serve when you feel like staying in bed all day and to smile even though I want to cry comes through Christ. 

This has been the best, hardest, most exhausting journey of my life. I WOULD NOT TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING. I have learned a lot in this last year. I am not even close to the same person I was 12 months ago. 

All though this experience has been hard I have never felt more joy. I have never been so happy. I have never felt so at peace. 

I am so thankful I didn't take my dads offer and turn around to my home. 

When we leave behind what is familiar to us to grow. When God calls us to his work it stretches us, it pushes us to grow and to rely on him.  

Even if we feel like I at times feel like I am not strong enough to perform his labors I am reassured and I know that God will qualify me to become the servant he needs. Never feel like you aren't smart enough, good enough, never feel like you are to shy or to timid to come and serve. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU CAN DO IT.

To any one who is pondering if they should serve a mission, YOU WILL NEVER REGRET GOING. 

I have come to not just know about my Savior, I have come to KNOW  my savior. My relationship with my Savior has become very personal here on my mission. One year ago I thought I would get to New York and be like the missionaries in the bible and book of Mormon and bring thousands of souls to Christ. I was ready to change the world. My mind pictured a mission to be this epic adventure where every one and anyone wants to listen to what I have to say. REALITY CHECK. IT'S HARD.  Nothing that is worth it comes easy. The Saviors mission was never easy so why did I expect for mine to be? 

Fact we learn through trials. There have been days that I have felt like this : 27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

Life has days that are hard. My mission has taught me to not lose faith in trials. To push through and to "Have faith unto patience" Just because things aren't working out exactly how I wished and hoped doesn't mean I am an epically unsuccessful missionary. I am successful in the Lords eyes because things are playing out the way he needs. Success is measured by our diligence, our go and do attitude even when things are at rock bottom.


PEOPLE DO WANT TO HEAR WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY! They are hard to find, but when you find them and their hearts have been prepared GREAT SHALL BE YOUR JOY!  

24 For behold, angels are declaring it unto many at this time in our land; and this is for the purpose of preparing the hearts of the children of men to receive his word at the time of his coming in his glory.

DON'T LOSE YOUR HOPE, DON'T LOSE YOUR FAITH KEEP SEARCHING, KEEP KNOCKING AND KEEP OPENING YOUR MOUTH. 

I have learned how to love. I had an experience a few weeks ago riding in an elevator at a nursing home. a nurse stepped into the elevator and the thought came to my mind "look up and smile" As i did so the nurse was taken back and she quickly looked away. then she looked quickly back up at me and said "Your eyes" and she gave me a very generous compliment. In that moment that she stepped back and looked away I was overwhelmed with a sense of love and compassion toward this woman I had never met. I wanted to help her in anyway possible. I have learned of Gods love for his children. I have learned that no matter where we are in life, he loves us. Something so simple as smiling and saying hello to this woman made her day. I know that it was nothing I did, but that in that moment I was being an instrument in my Saviors hands to show her, he is aware. 

22 The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.

I have learned to serve. To offer of my time to those in need. To reach out and help one who feels they are to far gone to return. To show some one all is not lost. 

My mind has been blown away time and time again as I sit in the living room of a complete stranger in tears as we testify of Jesus Christ and His restored Gospel, I have been blessed to witness mighty change in the hearts of Gods children as they accept him and his true teachings. 

My understanding of the Atonement has become very real as I have applied it daily in this missionary service. Each day as i recite " I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." as I get out of bed I feel the enabling power of the atonement helping me receive the strength and energy I need to serve. We have to put forth our best effort to receive divine help. 

My love for the scriptures and the ability to apply them has become second nature to me. Before my mission I could not understand the scriptures to save my life. As I have come to understand the scriptures I have come to understand God, and my Brother Jesus Christ. 

Lastly I have learned to love rules. RULES ARE AMAZING. Rules given out of love and kept out of love provide safety for our souls. They provide freedom. Gods commands are not to be take lightly but to be followed exactly and repentance is required when we get off track. 

My mission has changed me forever. 

New York will forever hold a piece of my heart, there are many people here who have left an impact on me that will forever change my life. I am looking forward to what these next six months hold. I will not be counting them away but I will be holding on to every moment of each and every day. 

This has been one crazy year, but I can now say I KNOW MY SAVIOR. I KNOW HE LIVES. I KNOW HE HAS AGAIN CALLED PROPHETS TO THE EARTH. I know that he has the power to heal us from scars that seem to deep to mend, I know that we can be forgiven of our mistakes and move forward into a bright future, I know that through Christ we can do anything. 

Those tears I cried the whole way to the Mtc have been replaced with laughter, with happiness beyond what I could ever imagine, friendships that will be eternal, and memories I will hold close for the rest of my existence. (WHICH IS FOREVER) I have had some of the most awkwardly comical moments, scary moments, and spiritual moments out here in western New York that I will never forget. 

Missions aren't just hard, they are worth it. It is rewarding to watch some one you love so dear develop a relationship with Jesus Christ in a whole new way, it is amazing to bring peace to the troubled soul who is in great need, the joy I have received is beyond anything I can describe. My heart is full and continues to stretch as my love for others grows. Missions are not meant to just be accomplished, they are to be enjoyed, we are to be happy, to laugh and have fun while we work our feet off. 

My mission has given me the foundation I need to grow in life, to become the woman God needs me to be. To reach out and help those in need, to no longer fear helping a stranger in need and to lift up my voice and to speak when it is needed. I have found who I am in Christ. I will no longer be ashamed. 

My mission is preparing me for the rest of my life. I am so grateful to be an instrument in Gods hands. To bring his children home! 

TO ALL YOU FUTURE MISSIONARIES... GET READY FOR THE BEST 18 MONTHS OR TWO YEARS FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!! :):)

MISSIONS ARE AMAZING :) K THAT'S ALL BYE :)

Finding inner peace.

"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."
Doctrine and covenants

Repentance brings inner peace. 

What is repentance? 

"Repentance is one of the first principles of the gospel and is essential to our temporal and eternal happiness. It is much more than just acknowledging wrongdoings. It is a change of mind and heart that gives us a fresh view about God, about ourselves, and about the world. It includes turning away from sin and turning to God for forgiveness. It is motivated by love for God and the sincere desire to obey His commandments." 

Why is it important that we repent? Sin draws us away from God. It detaches us from the spirit. Stirring up our insides to the point of no rest. The feelings of guilt begin to consume our thoughts and at times we become so swallowed in the guilt we harden our hearts and turn away from God. In the moment that seems like the easiest way out. 

"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you."
John 15

The holy Ghost is the perfect gentle men. He knows when he is welcome to stay and he knows when it is time to leave. He is promised to be with us if we keep Gods commandments. As we break those commandments the Holy Ghost no longer can dwell with us. Dimming our sensitivity to right and wrong. 

"21 And he doth not dwell in unholy temples; neither can filthiness or anything which is unclean be received into the kingdom of God; therefore I say unto you the time shall come, yea, and it shall be at the last day, that he who is filthy shall remain in his filthiness."
Alma 7

It is sooo important that we return to God that we repent and open our hearts to feeling him around us. 

"When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God.

The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God. 14 It is the beckoning of a loving Father and His Only Begotten Son to be more than we are, to reach up to a higher way of life, to change, and to feel the happiness of keeping the commandments. Being disciples of Christ, we rejoice in the blessing of repenting and the joy of being forgiven. They become part of us, shaping the way we think and feel."

-Neil L. Andersen

 "13 O all ye that are spared because ye were more righteous than they, will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?

 14 Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me."3 Nephi 9

Repentance= healing. The Savior can't heal us if we don't humble ourselves before him and ask for his forgiveness. 

Once we repent forgiveness and healing step in. 

"As we repent, our view of ourselves and the world changes. As we change, we recognize that we are children of God and that we need not continue making the same mistakes over and over. If we sincerely repent, we turn away from our sins and do them no more. We resist any desire to commit sin. Our desire to follow God grows stronger and deeper.

Sincere repentance brings several results. We feel God’s forgiveness and His peace in our lives. Our guilt and sorrow are swept away. We feel the influence of the Spirit in greater abundance. "

We are commanded to repent daily. No matter how large, or minor the sin may seem. Sin pulls us away from God and our Savior Jesus Christ. As we repent daily the burden of guilt and shame are made light. I know that as I repent each day I feel my love for the Savior deepen, my desire to follow him grows as I feel an increase of closeness to him. My heart becomes warm and I know that I can follow him.

When the day comes that I stand before my Savior and my God to be judged, I hope to feel comfortable there. To know that I did my best each and every day. I know that I am human and I mess up. A lot. But as I repent my feelings of anxiety and stress, frustration and being rushed turn to peace, calm, love, and compassion. 

" 39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm."Mark 4

If he can calm the troubled seas, he can calm your troubled heart. Peace be still and return to God. Repentance isn't a sign of weakness, nor is it scary. It is our way of showing God our desires, it is our way of showing him we are willing to do what it takes to make it home to him after this life. 

My heart has never been so at peace as it has in this last year. I have found my Savior. My desire to repent has grown and I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY. I know that my sins are forgiven each and every time I pray. I know that each day as I repent I become more aware of the little things I need to do better and I feel a greater sense of worth, I feel my divine purpose in this life. I know repentance is real. I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ we can be healed of all manner of afflictions. 

"11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

 13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me."Alma 

Repent and let the savior heal you. Let the enabling power of the atonement make you stronger, becoming better each and every day. 

I love my Savior. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that anything is possible with. And I know that he lives. He is my source of inner peace. He is my light. He is the center of my world. I would do anything for him. He died so that we might live. He gave his life willingly. For all. If they would repent. 

 16 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

Doctrine and covenants

"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me." John 14

31 Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.
32 For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.